Two Guys Making That Money

Wonderful Words

2010-07-27T21:58:00.001-07:00

Today my wife and kids came back to town from a long weekend trip. We met some of my classmates for dinner and then I took the kids home from there while my wife went off to a meeting. I got them laughing so hard over something so nonsensical that I don't even remember what it was. Then, after the older kids were out of the car and I went to get my youngest out of his car seat, my daughter said "Dad, I'm glad Mom married you, 'cause you make me laugh!"

Truly, I am a lucky man.

-- Robert

Seven Years

2010-07-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

People who know me know I love the number seven. There are three of them in my birthday, it's the perfect number, the number of God... lots of reasons to like seven. So here, on my seventh anniversary, I must acknowledge how truly blessed I feel to be married to the woman of my dreams. Lately I've had a lot of reminders of how much I need to cherish her and appreciate the joy she has brought into my life. I've had to reinvest myself in this program, but I knew I had her full support in doing it, even as hard as this year has been on us all. I know I haven't done enough to be available. As part of my recommitment to my program, though, I arranged my schedule - every half hour of every day is accounted for on my weekly calendar. By breaking it down so tightly, though, I can focus my mind and my energy in each period to accomplish the one thing I've got planned in that period. Twenty-four hours of my schedule (one seventh) is set aside for family time (not even counting most of the time on Sunday being spent on Sunday, only about three of those come out of Sunday). During my family time, I am with the family - not thinking about what school work is not being done. No, I will be a Dad and a husband only. Part of that twenty-four hours is even set aside specifically as time for my wife. It is not really giving much to say "Honey, this small portion of my week is entirely devoted to you." I realize how miniscule that sounds. Still, it is what I can give - it is what I know she needs, time with me and only me. Quality will reign over quantity, hopefully.

So to my wonderful wife, thank you for seven years. May it only be the beginning of an eternity of joy together.

-- Robert

Wiping out the cobwebs...

2010-06-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know this blog effectively died this year. I was proud I kept it up in the fall, but the last semester was crazy for a lot of reasons. I hope I never have night classes again. I had two classes at night with a morning class in between them... and it just wreaked havoc on our home life. So much in our lives was difficult and crazy this semester, really. I don't... can't even begin to describe it all. My one summer course is in my area of interest, and so far it's quite manageable, but I start teaching in another week just as it begins to ramp up, so time will tell how that works out. My wife and kids have been out of town for a couple of weeks and have another week before they return. I've missed them all terribly, and had reason to reevaluate priorities while they've been away. I still plan to stay in school, but I have got to organize my time more effectively to get things accomplished in less time so I can be home when I'm home. I doubt many more entries will go up on this blog, but I have to overcome so writer's block, so this outlet is helping me to just let my thoughts start flowing. Now on to the several research papers demanding my attention...

-- Robert

A New Semester

2010-01-16T22:33:00.000-08:00

My blog is on life support, but it's still nice to get some thoughts down when I find time. This semester has started well, with a paper completed before a deadline and classes starting in a fairly calm, easy fashion. We have three new doctoral students, each of whom brings something unique and interesting to our group. I am excited to have this entire group while I'm in the program. We have a dozen students and will for at least another year (with more possibly coming in the fall). I feel good about what I can possibly accomplish this term.

I appreciate all of the people asking me about school. I wish I could describe last semester well, but I really can't. It was great, incredibly challenging, and I enjoyed seeing what I could manage. I was especially proud of myself not giving up on the paper I just turned in, but instead finished it. I now want to get more things into my pipeline. I'll feel even better if that paper gets accepted for Academy. For now, time marches on... or more accurately, races on...

-- Robert

My Multi-Talented Wife

2009-12-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

I married an amazing woman. She has musical talent in spades - plays violin, piano, and various percussion instruments. She's a natural cheerleader - she loves to encourage others in whatever they are pursuing. She takes beautiful photos - we decorate our home with her pictures. I love to read her writing. She's a wonderful mother, of course. But finally she's pursuing one of her true passions: she's applying to law school. I'm really happy for her, and definitely proud she's doing it. Good for you, sweetheart!

-- Robert

And Now for Something Completely Different...

2009-12-19T06:09:00.000-08:00

I must have heard at least three academics try to pull off that line in the past few months. One of them might have managed, but most managed to change it enough to mess it up. In any event, now that classes are over, I still have plenty of work to do over the break. I need to create a word list, get it boiled down to one agreed upon by "experts" regarding the topic I'm writing about, and use it to analyze a bunch of text samples. And that's just to get started on a paper. I also have a theory paper (or two) to edit by January 15 to submit to conference in time. Then there's another project whose deadline I am not completely clear on, but I need to learn to use another program to analyze text. And if I'm interested (which I am), I can join yet another project analyzing business school mission statements with the first textual analysis program.

And break is how long? There are only twenty or so days left? I best get a move on. At least I got over my illness of the last two days. I'm glad my semester ended well, and I look forward to getting a lot done between terms. Next semester will be pretty different, but I'm interested to see how well I learn the subjects (organizational theory, research methods II, and statistics). I'm also excited to continue working with my classmates, which might include as many as three new members next term. We just rearranged our desks to allow a fifth person to come in, and the office at the other end of the hall will take in two more people to make four. It'll be awfully cozy.

That's as much of an update as I can manage. We're getting some last minute Christmas preparation done around here. Merry Christmas everyone, in case I don't manage to write again.

-- Robert

Done With First Semester Classes

2009-12-15T10:12:00.000-08:00

It's still hard to believe, but I have completed the first semester of my program. It has been a wonderful experience, both from a learning standpoint and from the way our group has come together. The Ph.D. students, both my cohort and those who were here before, have become good friends to me (and to each other), and some of us even joke that we're like siblings. I could not ask for a better group to be working with for four years than the people I have here right now. We have several applicants who may be starting in the Spring semester, and we just rearranged our office a little to accomodate one of those people. We would rather have the new peope on the same floor than force anyone to go to the basement. Our group is even having dinner together tonight before we all spread to the four winds over the break.

Now that classes are done, I still have work to do. After all, the classes are to build our knowledge, but our research is what gets us jobs when we're done. I may be involved with threee or four projects over the break, though most likely I'm only looking at running data analysis on one project while helping edit a paper for conference submission. The other two projects are either very preliminary from what I understand, or they're ramping up to get to publication stage and I'm going to be brought in for some of the data analysis. It's exciting to have so many things going on all at once. Hopefully I can get some things finished over the break before jumping into three more classes. One class is somewhat of a continuation of this semester, as we'll be turning our proposed project into an empirical paper. Another is organizational theory, which is one of the more mature fields of management. The last class will be our first statistical methods course, which can be quite intense by all accounts. It's hard to think that these new courses will be any easier than this semester, but time will tell.

I appreciate the various requests from friends to update this blog. I know it's been very neglected these last few months. It probably wil be again.

-- Robert

Closing Quickly on the End of First Semester

2009-11-08T06:37:00.000-08:00

And yet... there's so much left to do. I won't even list it all. Somehow I feel sure I can accomplish it, but this next week will be a real test, I think. Still, I am learning a lot all the time, and I am amazed at how much I'm able to read and comprehend from these articles and books in a short time when previously I got less from longer reads.

It is possible that by the end of the first year, I could have two articles headed into the publication mill - not that it means they'll ever get published. It would be nice if one did, at least, and I'd love it if both did. The ideas I'm considering could possibly lead to more articles on each "stream" in which they'd fit.

We're also already looking at what we're taking next semester and this summer. Everyone in the first year group is taking a statistics class, organizational theory, and research methods 2, along with our colloquium meeting (where everyone in the program who hasn't passed comprehensive exams comes together to discuss something). Then in the summer I'll most likely be teaching the entrepreneurship 1 course (unless I swap with my classmate who is set to teach family business), possibly taking a two week course on analysis using something called HLM, and definitely taking an entrepreneurship seminar that will go into the fall (if they get that course set up). I'm also most likely taking a qualitative methods course, though I'd rather take it the following summer, if possible (( think I'd get more out of it).

And while I'm at it, I might as well mention my fall courses: strategy, philosophy of science, and another statistics course most likely (plus, again, colloquium). I'll probably be teaching family business that term, unless I stay teaching the entrepreneurship 1 class. My goal is to teach each of those (family business mostly for the experience of teaching such a class), plus an innovation/change management course, and possibly something like leadership or another entrepreneurship course. My spring of 2011 will involve taking organizational behavior, but I'm not certain what else just at the moment. Probably another statistics class, and maybe a modeling course, but that's so far away there's not much need to nail it down perfectly right now. Then, if I can swing it, I'll take qualitative methods that summer, but if not, I'll have to figure out something to take right before I might be taking my comprehensive exams.

Somehow, charting out what is ahead has always helped me, so maybe it is good to have that written down. For now, though, I need to keep my nose to the grindstone and get this semester's work done. I'm really fortunate to be working with such great classmates and professors. Each of them brings something to the table that has helped me in some way. I am excited and hopeful that we might bring in another new person in the spring, and hopefully bring in another great group next fall. If anyone out there is looking to start a doctoral program right away, Texas Tech is a great place to consider.

-- Robert

An Ocean of Knowledge

2009-09-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

I have probably told half a dozen people my analogy for how I feel at this point in a doctoral program: I am drowning in an ocean of knowledge, and I don't have gills. It's not that I am trying to get my head above the "water" - I am actually trying to learn to breath it. That's the best way I can come up with to describe it.

And yet, here I am, not dead, with nearly a month in the program. I have had a whole range of feelings about myself in this process, but I have mostly decided to push forward as far as I can on everything I can manage and accept that everything is adding to my progress. I feel sure I will disappoint someone - a professor, a classmate, myself, my wife, my children - almost weekly, and possibly all of those in the course of this semester. Yet I believe in the process enough to have hope that on the other side of each obstacle a new perspective can be achieved.

I have read more in the last month than I did in all of my undergraduate and MBA classes combinedm, I am almost certain. If not by now, it won't take more than a week or two more to pass that mark.

And maybe, just maybe, I have started to learn to take it in without drowning. I feel like I took my first breath this past week. I am also glad that my classmates and I are doing what we can to help each other to leverage our efforts and work smarter instead of harder. A human being can only work ninety hours a week reading material for so long before it becomes abundantly clear that simply having viewed a page once is not really worth the effort expended. I cannot express how utterly grateful I am to be working alongside such brilliant students and faculty. I have no real way to know what I might have experienced elsewhere, but this group is just what the doctor(ate) ordered for me. I will owe them all a huge debt of gratitude when I am done. I hope somewhere along the way I can be of similar service to some of them.

And before I conclude this post, I have to again thank my wife for even being here. She is suffering the brunt of everything I am going through, and she's holding up better than I could ask anyone to. Her love and support, her understanding... it's beyond comprehension that she is sticking by me. I love her, and don't know if I could do this work without her. I don't think buying her the sports car of her dreams when I get my first chair will cover it - but maybe I'll find some way to show her how much she means to me. I just wish they could print the diploma with both of our names on it, because she'll certainly have earned her part of it.

Well, it is time to dive back in, or to sleep now so I can do so in the morning.

-- Robert

Eating the Elephant

2009-09-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

After one week in a doctoral program, the metaphor definitely fits: the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. If I look at all I have to do all at once, I could easily be overwhelmed. Instead I have to take each article, each book chapter, and each assignment and work through it. At this point, I am enjoying the "flavor" of what I am consuming. Truly, my mind is more engaged than it has been in a long time - if not ever. I am extremely grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful people, both among the students and the faculty. So far I have felt very supported by the rest of my cohort and find the free flow of advice and information among us all to be wonderful. I could not have designed a better program for myself.

-- Robert

Oriented And Focused

2009-08-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

This week, my cohort had our orientation. There are five of us, four men and one woman. Two of us are married. One is Chinese and the rest are Americans. I am the oldest, then it goes 30, 29, 26, and 23 years of age. One of us comes from a psychology background, one from sociology, and the rest have business degrees. In all, I am impressed by the group I have the privilege of studying with, and I look forward to getting to know each of them better over time. I know their strong work ethics and keen intellects will encourage my best efforts. I couldn't ask for a better cohort.

The orientation itself made it clear from the beginning what our goal will be in this program: in fourteen years we should each be full professors and chairs (not department chairs, but endowed chairs). That achievement is completely possible, and it is good to hear our professors have set the bar high from the beginning. We had a great discussion that laid out what the program we will go through is designed to teach us (how to research) and where our focus needs to be (on topics that excite us). The classes are important for teaching us methodology and familiarizing us with the literature out there, but research takes precedence. I especially liked that our coordinating professor made it clear that he doesn't like the distinction between teaching and research: everything we do should be focused on teaching. Classroom teaching is focused on our students but research is focused on teaching (and learning from) our colleagues in the "guild" of researchers.

Classes begin next week. We will be taking an organizational economics class that will show us a lot of topics so we can begin to find subjects we might enjoy working on. We will be taking a class on research methods to help us understand the process of academic research. We will take a class from the professor who teaches instructors how to teach better. Last of all, but perhaps most important, we will have a colloquim where we discuss what skills we need to build during our time here and how to build them by looking at best practices and award winning materials. By the end of the term we should be well on our way to having our first two research papers begun. We will also have quite a few research proposals written for potential future projects.

In short, I am very excited to have begun. I've read over a hundred pages in academic articles this week, and I have plenty more to read both for class and because of suggestions by professors. I feel confident that I can handle myself so far, and I look forward to finding out.

-- Robert

I Passed!

2009-08-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

I passed both my tests, despite the peculiar questions on both. I did really well on linear algebra "for having never taken the class" (my wife said that). The calculus was not as great, but getting it over with was all I wanted at this point. Now I have several reading assignments for one class and the textbooks purchased (except one) for two classes. I even know the rest of my schedule, which is a nice step forward. Wednesday is my orientation, then school starts Thursday, though two of my classes don't actually meet for the first time until September. We'll see how it all plays out.

-- Robert

If Yesterday Threw Curves...

2009-08-20T08:22:00.001-07:00

Today was knuckleballs. It was never clear where the next one was going. There was a multivariate derivative (that is, f(x,y), find f ' (x,y)/dy) and half a dozen limits. Out of all the tests I practiced, there might have been two limit questions total, and then it was half the test this time? Definitely peculiar. Here's hoping I passed it. I feel confident I passed yesterday, but after today I'm wondering if I showed enough work on either. Here's hoping.

-- Robert

One Down, One to Go

2009-08-19T08:09:00.001-07:00

I took my linear algebra test, and I feel confident I did well enough to pass it. I don't think I got a perfect score, but I think I answered every question with enough right on my answer to get at least partial credit, and I suspect full credit on the vast majority of them. Tomorrow I take the calculus test, which hopefully won't throw the curves that this test did. Still, I feel pretty good that I can manage it: each time I practiced either test, I took less than an hour and there are three hours alotted for each. I took about thirty-five minutes (even taking my time) on the test today. Many thanks go to my brother-in-law who spent hours helping me practice and learn. I also have to thank my wife for her consideration in those hours of practice and study (and for having such a brilliant brother).

Next week is orientation and then classes begin. My daughter also starts kindergarten. I am excited to see what new patterns form in our lives. I'm also excited for what classes and work will bring. Who knows when I'll next be able to write a blog post. Thanks for anyone still reading. I appreciate the interest.

-- Robert

Relaxation

2009-08-14T15:43:00.001-07:00

This is my last week without school. Possibly ever. Technically last week was, I guess, since I chose to study this week, but I've mostly relaxed and focused on getting the house in order. My wife and I have built five bookshelves now in the last two weeks. Yesterday we spent about six hours building a swingset for our daughter's birthday. So what am I doing right now? I am sitting in my back yard in my folding chair listening to this great jam on YouTube writing this post while monitoring the steaks on the grill and watching the kids on their new swingset. These days are special. We even got to swim today. I'm not sure if there will be many days like this in the future. I'm glad to have had this one.

-- Robert

Happy Birthday, Old Man

2009-08-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

For the record, I started calling my father "Old Man" as a term of endearment at least a decade ago. He knows it is not a disparagement - he told me when he turned 51 to tell my friends my parents were a hundred years old (my mom was 49). He wears his age as a badge of honor, so this post is not a knock on my father.

I hope you have had a wonderful birthday, Dad. You deserve it. You have stood by me through decision after decision that you did not fully agree with our appreciate. You have respected me enough to be a man and make my own way. For that, I am eternally grateful. I know you struggled with your own father when you chose a life other than what he had in mind for you, so perhaps you understood it was not easy for me to decide to leave the business world to become an academic. You have taught me so much that I hope to bring to my classrooms and perhaps even my writings: the value of keeping one's name clean, the price of doing what is right, the grounding that faith brings, and the importance of learning from failure. Most of all, though, you taught me the importance of loving your family more than your hobbies, and the importance of doing quality work. Hopefully one day my career will honor your name. I know you have sacrificed a lot for sis and me to have the wonderful opportunities we have enjoyed throughout our lives. With great opportunity comes great responsibility, though, and I have a responsibility to be the best I can. This tribute to you has turned into being mostly about me, but that's how you always seem to want things (no attention on you). So this year, instead of a gift you don't want, I'm writing this post.

I love you, Old Man.

-- Robert

Good People

2009-08-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

Today I went to see a student defend his dissertation. If he succeeded, he walked out a Ph.D. It was fascinating to observe, and it gave me hope that I could get to that point some day in the not-so-distant future. I also got to see the students that are just ahead of me in the program (started last year) that I met at interviews. Each of them said hello, remembered my name, and even said they were glad to see me. Sure those were just respectful gestures, but they took it further to show how genuine they were. They offered for me to email with any questions I had, one made sure I actually knew her address, and another took me to another floor to ask questions to the appropriate office for a question I had.

The professors, too, were nice to stop and talk to me - the one who hopefully will be my mentor even had me up to his office for a few minutes and let me look at some of his work when I asked. I wanted to talk to another but he clearly was busy. Still, he let me stop him in the hall for a moment.

Simply put, I am looking forward to working with some good people.

-- Robert

August Is Here...

2009-08-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

In August, we/I need to:

get her started in school

get me registered for school

get me a parking pass

get me on school insurance

take the tests to exempt calculus and linear algebra

start school

That's the short list of big items to accomplish. There's still the day to day - cooking, cleaning, yardwork, finding things we've unpacked, grocery shopping, etc. etc. etc....

All in all, though, I'm glad to be at this point. I get to find out if I'm cut out for this career. Am I really as good as I like to believe? Will I make any difference at all? Will I be the low man on the totem pole right from the start?

Hopefully I will do well. I believe in myself. I like to think that the people who let me in and seem to respect my abilities know something about evaluating doctoral candidates. Next month may be the hardest thing I have ever done - at least academically - but I still feel ready. I am excited. I am here.

-- Robert

Thanks for the Memories

2009-07-25T11:02:00.001-07:00

Six years ago today, in this town (Monticello), my wife and I stood before her father and God and became a family. I was the happiest man there that day, and I had only begun to know how fortunate I was to join this family. In the time since - through three reunions, various holidays, and other occasions - I have come to appreciate that I had married into the perfect family for me. My brothers-in-law are all much like the friends I had in high school, though they're mostly nicer. I love hanging out with any or all of them. My sisters-in-law are kind, generous, and gifted as well. My mother-in-law is wise, but good to share her experience in ways that are not at all judgmental. My father-in-law inspires me more every day. Truly, they are all a wonderful family.

When I married my wife, I knew I had found a diamond in the rough. She thinks so little of her many talents - herself in general really. I grow to love her more every day as I see how those talents effect the lives of our children and our friends, not to mention my own, for the better. She has a huge heart, and I am glad to know her. Getting the bonus of a wonderful set of in-laws is almost more than I can believe at times.

So on this, our sixth anniversary, I say thanks to all of my wife's family - especially my wife - for the wonderful memories. I look forward to many more.

-- Robert

Authentic Leadership

2009-07-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

I spent some time this week delving into the research on the subject of leadership. The focus of two articles so far has been the idea of "authentic leadership". What does the term mean? Much like it sounds, it means a leader who is real about himself, his expectations, and his desire for his group. It also goes a step further, though, at least in this literature, to mean someone who is genuine AND positive - someone interested in the growth of his team members, interested in being open and honest about strengths and weaknesses, and interested in building an environment where everyone feels comfortable to be ethical, work for personal and organizational improvement, and who upholds the importance of accountability.

In short, authentic leadership extends very logically from the area of positive psychology and positive organizational behavior. I could see arguments to the contrary - someone can be genuine and still not be positive. Yes, but those people do not tend to remain leaders. The great point raised at the end of the article was the long-term nature of building an environment of positivity and trust. What can be built over decades can be destroyed in minutes. It is only in continuing to put forth an open, honest, positive image that a person can rise above and stay there.

I can think of quite a few examples of people in my life who have stood tall amidst the crowd as moral and ethical giants. Those men and women remain etched in my memory, and I find they tended to be very successful. Perhaps they did not have large material wealth, but they were happy in life and enjoyed their work. That defines success for me. I hope to bring these ideas to future students, hopefully by example as well as by my words. I know I owe a huge debt of gratitude for those who have been such examples to me.

-- Robert

Texas, My Apologies, I Never Knew You

2009-07-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

To the state of Texas (this section of it at least),

I apologize completely and whole heartedly. I had no idea living here could be so nice. I saw people leave the driver's license office smiling here. The tag office gave me my choice of four agents to work with, and when I didn't have my wife with me, they filled out everything so she just had to sign her name a few times and I could bring it back to get tags and titles for our cars.

This state - at least this town - has been very welcoming. I am not saying it's Heaven on Earth. I've only been here a few weeks. Still, it's very nice to feel so comfortable already. I'm even beginning to connect in my head where places are despite using a GPS to go everywhere.

We have a drive in theater here. We have plenty of stores to meet our various needs. It's just a great little town. It doesn't hurt that there are a lot of people in similar places in life at our church - or that there's a temple right behind said church. This town just has so many things we could want and so little of what we don't. And it's in Texas, so again, I apologize. This state has at least one little slice of Americana that I will cherish for the rest of my days. I look forward to getting to know it better in the days, weeks, and years to come.

-- Robert

Does This Mean I'm Fired?

2009-07-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

My last official act as an employer was to let an employee go. She was hired to help with back office processing, but let's just say it never worked out for her. On her last day, I explained what the duties were that we had hired her to perform, pointed out that she never had really shown a desire to execute those duties in a timely manner, and let her know she needed to look for other work. I then put her on the phone with my father so he could make it clear that I was not acting on my own. After he said, "You're either not understanding what I need you to do, or you don't care, and either way I don't need you." she asked, "Does this mean I'm fired?"

I thought it might be fun to ask if anyone else out there had ever worked with someone who had said something so poignant - so perfectly descriptive of the problem being presented to them - either as they were being shown the door, or at any other point in their employment.

-- Robert

Three Great Writers

2009-07-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

In reading Schumpeter, he explained that the work of Adam Smith explained reasons for colonial expansion better than Marx. I did not recognize the name, so I googled him here. I had heard of his Wealth of Nations but have never read it. It amazed me to see how many ideas that seem so "modern" can be attributed to that five-volume series published in 1776. He expounded the benefits of specialization, self-interest as a proponent of economic well-being for a system, and the differentiation of wage rates. Somehow when I studied those concepts as an undergraduate, I took them to be fairly new, at least from the last fifty years. I might some day seek a copy of that series to enlighten myself further.

On Adam Smith's page, I saw a reference to Milton Friedman, someone I had heard of (there were also pages on Karl Marx and John Maynard Keynes, who I'd heard of but didn't choose to click on). I got a kick out of how many ideas from Keynesian economics - which is still taught in many undergraduate courses as a logical method for governments to curtail depressions - he shot to pieces. He showed that the Great Depression had more to do with poor government policy than to do with rampant capitalism, and so offended the Federal Reserve that they commissioned a defense of their efforts from another economist (they also quit publishing the minutes of their meetings). I almost laughed out loud (yes, I probably do belong in the ranks of nerds and professors) at how many times he inspired the revision of a Keynes disciple in his textbooks over the years. Any time someone can compel the competition to literally change their point of view, that is success in my view. So I might be looking for the works of Milton Friedman as well in the future. My stack grows without any real shrinkage resulting from my having completed any of these texts. Still, I can see I am learning, which is what matters (hopefully).

-- Robert

Seen While Driving in Lubbock

2009-07-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

My wife and I decided to stop at the Far East Market to see if they carried some Thai food she likes to make, but the placed looked a little... scary. As we were looking around at the surrounding stores, next door was "Crossroads Ministries" which had a small sign next to it showing that "Jesus [named omitted] Tax Preparation Services." Our immediate thought was a cross between "Interesting to see what Jesus is doing these days" and "Wow, I guess he really does want us to render unto Caesar..."

We really don't mean to blaspheme, but the two signs together made for a funny moment. It also helped us feel better - but not better enough for either of us to enter the market.

-- Robert

Tagged!

2009-07-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

No, I don't have someone tagging me for some must-do post. I simply wanted to say that, after all the hullabaloo I heard about how bad it was to get tags in Texas, today was probably the easiest trip to a government office I've made, certainly to a new town. There were no lines - I actually had my pick of four or five deputies (I believe that was the title), and except for not having my wife with me, I'd've left with tags within half an hour. I came back and in another twenty minutes I had them (the second woman had to review everything the first one had done). I'm hoping the driver's license is that easy next week. Now if we could just get someone on the phone from the school district to enrole my daughter, we'd be just about set.

As for other moving in news, I spent the day in the garage doing an inventory of what exactly is out there (we had the movers put most of the boxes there). I was able to empty half a dozen boxes and sort many more (no idea how many). I filled an entire "wardrobe box" (as movers call it) with paper we wrapped fragile items in and started on another. That would be the third such wardrobe, and that's not counting the dozen or so empty boxes I've broken down to throw away. Things are moving along. Tomorrow I'll finish my inventory of the garage and start unpacking the ones I've brought into the house, probably starting with our closet and moving to the kitchen, or vice versa. Maybe by next week we can park one car in the garage again... maybe.

-- Robert

Walking in the New Neighborhood

2009-07-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

Last night we went for a walk as a family around 8:30 or so. It felt like it was about 75 - very pleasant. I cannot describe how much nicer it is to feel a cool evening than South Georgia's swelter. Our neighborhood was already getting settled down for the night, since we were one of only two families we saw walking, and very few people appeared to be coming and going. It was a very peaceful experience.

I told my family I thought I might get up for a morning walk because it was so lovely out. My daughter said she wanted to come with me every day. I hadn't said I would walk every day, but I told her we might consider it. I asked if she wanted me to wake her up for it, or leave her in bed if she was asleep when I went. She wavered, but she seemed to settle on me leaving her in bed if she wasn't up yet.

I got up this morning, not really thinking about walking so much as getting myself up. I was just about done with a bath (we need to put our shower curtains up but haven't found the rods in our unpacking yet) when she came in to ask, "Am I up early enough?" I was so proud of her for remembering and asking so nicely, I decided I definitely would go on a walk.

She and I had a lovely morning walk - and it wasn't too slow of a pace for exercise, either. She kept up very well, and we discussed how nice our new neighborhood is. She reported to me on all sorts of things, but it wasn't at all bothersome. I enjoyed it. And the temperature? Not much warmer or cooler than the night before - right about 75. There's nothing lovelier, I have to say, than living somewhere with cool mornings and evenings at this time of year. I look forward to more walks with my family or my daughter in the future.

-- Robert

We Have a House With Stuff In It

2009-06-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

We made the trip to Texas, despite our mover - Sky Movers, who we will never use again - being two and a half days late and still not getting everything on the truck. We got to Lubbock in plenty of time for the walk-through, which the builders were clearly worried about. After all, the sod wasn't down, two windows needed replacing, and the shiny finish was not yet on the concrete floors. We were just so glad to see the house, we didn't care at all - as long as the closing went without a hitch. Which it did. The next day, we were signing away our debt freedom with great gusto. In the midst of the signing, one of my professors called to ask me to work on a project with him, and my wife said, "I guess that was the reason we needed to get here two weeks early." So immediately upon arrival, I had work to do, which is very exciting.

The movers then let us know the truck had not left Florida to get to Texas - again, NEVER use Sky Movers - and our stuff would arrive Monday at the earliest. We had to figure out how we might manage on the few things we'd brought in our rented Uhaul trailer and two cars, but we mostly enjoyed camping in our new home. My professor and his wife were gracious enough to invite us to their home for dinner, and then lend us a few things to help us get by while we awaited our things. They're both wonderful, warm people, and I look forward to getting to know them better.

Friday we got our fridge - we had to rent a Uhaul truck to get it home and avoid waiting a week - and we clearly out the garage in preparation for the movers arrival. Saturday we hung out with the family that hosted us during our visit in February, and then we did it again Sunday. They watched our kids for us Monday while the movers came - did I say they were wonderfully nice people? - and kept on watching them while we unpacking things. I have felt very welcome here. We even received a thank you from one couple just for finally building on the lot at the entrance to the neighborhood. We met a few people Sunday at church and the kids are adjusting well to being in a large ward instead of a small branch.

In short, we have loved our new home a lot already. We are looking forward to settling in over the coming days and weeks (we already have unpacked more than a dozen boxes today alone), and making a life for ourselves. I suspect it might even be harder to leave here than it was Cairo when we're done. Everything is so convenient and everyone is so warm and welcoming. I am enjoying working on this paper already, and I look forward to it bringing more opportunities to accelerate my learning curve.

So if this blog languishes, my apologies. We simply have much to do, and there are only so many hours in the day. I appreciate all who have kept up with us through this whole exciting process, and I hope to continue to make periodic updates. If this week proves at all typical, though, I don't know how frequent they might be.

-- Robert

Back From Vacation - On to the Move

2009-06-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful vacation in Orlando. As much as anyone can, at least. On day one, I pondered writing a daily journal of what we did and advice I might have for anyone going to Orlando, but I was exhausted when I got back to the condo. With that out the window, I never even tried to get email until the day before we left, and then only because we were online trying to find an email to call the movers and see what time they would be coming on Friday.

Which they weren't. Not Friday. Now Saturday's up in the air, which reads more accurately as "they aren't coming". I now get to go down to the wire and have movers come on a Sunday. The same Sunday when both my wife and I will be speaking, and I will be in charge of all the meetings of the day. I believe it qualifies as my ox being in the mire - but I still hate the whole idea. I feel pretty betrayed, but I won't defame the movers at this point because they're about to have most of my valuable possessions in an undisclosed location for about a week. It's like complaining about food at a restaurant - don't do it.

Still, we are packed, or we have things in a situation where we are ready for movers to begin loading a truck. There may yet be a few boxes to tape up or tubs to put the tops on, but we're as ready as we can be until they actually appear.

Add to that the fact that the loan officer I've been working with is going on vacation with some elements of the closing still up in the air, and well - let's just say we're driving west on faith. We've made this whole journey on faith - prepared, thought out, and prayerful faith, but still faith. So, here we go...

-- Robert

Checklist

2009-06-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Packing done? - Check. My wife and some friends did a wonderful job of getting it all ready.

Orlando trip planned? - Check. We have a decent condo and our printed Ridemax list of how to hit the most things at Disney each day.

Movers scheduled? - Check. They will come either Friday or Saturday of next week.

Road trip planned? - Check. We'll be going through Vicksburg, MS, then Irving, TX, and on to Lubbock by way of Sweetwater, TX, just past Abilene.

Closing scheduled? - Check. We will tour the house on the 24th and close the 25th.

House complete? - Last item on the list, but based on the most recent pictures, this check should be added very soon.

Interior Pictures

2009-06-11T08:06:00.001-07:00

As you come in the

front door.

You can look at

the fireplace.

Continuing on and looking to the left, you'll see the

kitchen.

Then you can look down at the newly installed granite countertops.

I believe my wife has pictures of the bedrooms on previous posts on her blog, but if not, I might be able to get those together. They're not as interesting, though, I imagine. What remains to be done in the areas shown is the floor: stain in the kitchen/dining room and carpet in the living room. We also need the appliances added in the kitchen, but that doesn't prevent us moving in. Still, those should be in soon as well.

-- Robert

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together

2009-06-10T12:12:00.000-07:00

Another picture? Just like that? Yes, just like that. The difference in this picture: no work van in the garage, and the awnings are on. The countertops are in, so now it's down to floors and sodding the yard, from what I can tell, basically. It's looking great.

-- Robert

P.S.: If I get requests for it, I'm willing to post interior pictures, too.

First Time - a Picture on This Blog

2009-06-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

Since my wife is actively packing our house, she did not get the picture posted, as I thought she would. It is my fault, though, that she didn't, so I decided to post a picture on this blog for the first time. Enjoy.

It's a Brick... House....

2009-06-08T07:53:00.000-07:00

At least, that's what the picture shows. My wife will post the picture later today, but we got photographic evidence showing the brick is on, the fireplace is in, the doors are hung inside, and the cabinets are in. Painting, stain of the concrete, carpet, and countertops are all that remain. Well, and some door knobs need to be put in, I think. I'm guessing those were just taken out for painting, though. The outside only needs the part where the roof hangs over the edge of the brick to be covered. Okay, that and the yard needs to be sodded, but really, I'm excited to see that's such a short list to be finished.

As for moving plans, we made a list of what needs to be done, and we're executing it all this week. We expect to make it to Orlando next week. Things are going at warp speed, but we work well that way. Tomorrow should be a very productive moving day.

-- Robert

Ender's Game

2009-06-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

Last night, while we starting packing in earnest, my wife and I listened to Ender's Game on audiobook. Our local library has this great service that allows us to 'check out' an audiobook online - download a file that will only work for a certain amount of time - and we decided we would love to hear that book while we worked or when we hit the road in a few weeks.

As we listened, I realized it had been years since I read the book, and it was great to revisit such a wonderful story. It helped that the narrator was the same one Card had used on another audiobook we enjoyed, Empire, and that there were lots of voices for the characters instead of just one person trying to make up twenty voices. Having read the rest of the books (except the most recent addition, Ender in Exile), it was fun to remember how the different character entered the whole story. Card writes so masterfully. I can't recommend the Ender series highly enough. It helps the packing go by faster to have such great stories to listen to. It probably also reminds me of listening to stories as a child to go to sleep. I regularly listened to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and various comedy tapes of Bill Cosby. Now my daughter is enjoying listening to stories while she goes to bed, too (not Ender books, though). It's neat to watch.

This post has no cohesion, I'll grant. It has several different thoughts in one place, and none of them well developed. Still, I simply wanted to remember the moments briefly, and so I wrote a post.

-- Robert

Countdown

2009-06-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

We now have three weeks left here. We got the call from the builder that the house will be done in three weeks, so we set a closing date, and we will proceed to lose our marbles organizing everything for the move at warp speed. Okay, we won't really lose all our marbles. They'll be packed in a box that will take us weeks to find after we've gotten everything moved. Generally they're in the bottom of the last box that gets unpacked.

In the meantime we have two musical performances for my wife to prepare for, our daughter's birthday party to plan and have, and we're taking her to Disney World for a few days, since she has a ticket she won't have much chance to use once we've moved to Texas. Piece of cake, right?

Right?

-- Robert

Where Marx's Pricing Theory Falls Apart

2009-06-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Karl Marx believed that all things could be priced based upon the hours of work input in their creation. So, for instance, a wooden cabinet is worth the hours a person put in making that wooden cabinet. He might have made some arguments that the hours it took to build the machines used for making the box would also go into the cost of the good, but he still primarily focused on the idea that the cost of something was related to the work put into it.

The idea sounds great on the surface. It ignores the different values of other inputs - the raw materials being worked on - as a predictor of value. That's one of the more glaring flaws. He also assumes that all goods are, in essence, commodities. One wooden cabinet is the same as another, in this example. So a cabinet made of press board sold at Wal-Mart only differs in value from a handmade, custom-built oak cabinet by the number of hours a person (or persons) took to build it. Certainly, one might argue that more hours go into the oak cabinet - but only if the person putting together the press board is generally good at doing so. If the same number of hours are used in the end, then the value of the two is the same, according to Marx.

The difference in the value of those hours begins to appear in my comparison. Is the value of an hour of work by a trained carpenter the same as the value of the hour of an untrained (in relation to carpentry) purchaser of a Wal-Mart do-it-yourself pre-fabricated cabinet? Certainly not, at least not in the eyes of consumers. Marx may have tried to account for the difference by suggesting a multiplier be used for skilled labor versus unskilled. Whether he actually did make such a suggestion is unclear. The problem, therefore with Marx's theory about pricing stems from his own misunderstanding of the marketplace. Goods are not commodities - one good is not the same as another, in many ways. Certainly a desk is not the same as a lawn mower or the same as a computer. Nor are people commodities, or their skillsets - the worker who can build a computer might be able to be build a desk, but not at the same speed as someone skilled in carpentry. In other words, he ignored specialization, the value of training, and - quite frankly - the value of human ingenuity. So many of the rest of his theories built on this sameness his pricing theory relied on, that the whole idea of Marxism falls apart. Since Marx was one of the father's of socialism, it begs the question, is socialism equally flawed as a theory? If the theory is flawed, then should we plan our government around it?

I say no. I leave the rest of the world to decide for themselves.

-- Robert

Marxism

2009-05-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

When a book grabs me before I have read the tenth page, I know I am in for a treat. I began reading Capitalism, Socialism, and Democracy by Joseph Schumpeter just yesterday. I have only been able to put it down because I knew I had other obligations. Still, I am captivated by the insight of this great economist. He realized before WWII was over that the Soviet Union - not Germany or Japan - stood as the greatest threat to democracy (and, one might argue, to freedom). He realized before the war ended that Germany and Japan needed to become allies to the US in order to hold off Soviet expansion. These truths seem obvious to the detached observer looking back over the six plus decades since he published his book, but at the time they were so controversial that he had to mask them cleverly throughout the book. He masked some of it so well, in fact, that many readers took him to be a defender of (and believer in) socialism.

His ideas are still groundbreaking today. As one article put it in 2000, "The greatest economist of our time died fifty years ago." He understood that facism, socialism, and capitalism could not stand together, but none of the three could destroy the other. In short, the man had a keen grasp of the dangerous future the world had in store. The introduction to this latest edition explains how visionary he was.

His first section of the book, however, would have grabbed my attention without the introduction. He explains the doctrine of Marx - yes, Karl Marx - and calls him a prophet of a religion. When I compare his words to the attitude of most socialists I have met, I see exactly what he meant. Socialists see an ideal world waiting for us all - if we would all agree to follow socialism together. Those who do not agree are heretics, sinners of the worst kind. Having argued with many socialists, I can see where Schumpeter got such a notion. Socialists have their doctrine and - in most cases - it does not matter whether it agrees with logic, disregards human nature, or calls upon irrational behavior. It is simply right. How true it is that socialism becomes a religion. As I continue to read the book, I may feel inclined to write more on this subject, but the first chapter already has me nodding my head so vigorously that I couldn't help but put up a post about it. I am excited to read the section detailing how socialism can work (or how it doesn't). I am sure I will want to post about that one.

-- Robert

Family, Like Olive Garden - Part Two

2009-05-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today my wife gave our daughter her choice of restaurant while we were on a shopping trip. She picked Olive Garden, so we agreed to go there. Our table was right next to a couple who we used to live around the corner from in our old house - and who just so happen to be LDS. We chatted between tables here and there, and something about the church came up in our conversation. They left before us, and a couple seated at the table in the opposite direction got up shortly thereafter. The wife of the couple leaned over and said, "I picked up from your conversation that you are Mormon," then paused just a beat before saying, "We are, too."

Then in the brief conversation that followed, we even realized my wife knew them. So in the course of just one week, we proved that the LDS Church is indeed family - and we did it at Olive Garden.

-- Robert

Graduation Day

2009-05-22T06:28:00.000-07:00

Today is graduation day for the high school here in town. It reminds me of various graduation days past. I remember my high school, when people stood up and yelled "we survived!" meaning no one in our class died (first class to survive all four years without a death in about a decade). I remember my undergraduate graduation with Ted Turner's speech, "Hey, look at me: I've made millions with cable companies, I own the Braves, and you could do that, too... except we're all going to be blown up by the North Koreans before you get the chance! Happy Graduation!" (I swear that's a paraphrase of his entire speech). I remember my Masters graduation when my friend we all elected to give our speech used conference talks to give great advice to us.

Graduation days have a way of making a profound image in our lives, "Something big happened there." The fact is, though, it happened in the preceding days, months, and years. The date itself is simply a marker of completion. It stands as a demarcation, "Before this date, I did not have..." and "After this date, I had...." whatever recognition was received. They are beautiful moments in many cases, truly, but they are not where the achievement happens. They're mile markers in the road map of life. After school, such mile markers become more vague, or at least more personal. Wedding dates, the births of children, passing important tests... those all stand out to the few people involved, but they hold little importance to anyone else.

Lives begin to take their own paths. Certainly roads can occasionally cross, or even merge for a time, but each family - and within it, each individual - begins to cut its own way through the world. My mind has been on such things a lot lately, as we prepare to leave this familiar road we've been on for so long and head off into the great unknown. Our little family will quickly be on five different paths - me at school, my daughter at school, my wife possibly at school, and my sons continuing to progress at home until they start school, too. We will each find new milestones on our own, some of which we will share and care about together, but many of which will be extremely personal. I look forward to that future. I also realize we must take great care not to lose each other along the way.

-- Robert

Roof's On!

2009-05-20T06:04:00.000-07:00

It sounds a lot like "soup's on" in my head. Seeing a picture of our new house with the windows in and the roof on made it feel a lot like we could move on in. I realize the inside is the slow part, but still, it's nice to know things are coming together. And fast. My wife's blog shows a picture here.

Family... Like Olive Garden

2009-05-19T05:08:00.000-07:00

Last night was Family Night at Chick-fil-A, so we took the kids to let them play while my wife got her hair done. I was happily holding the baby while he watched the zoo going on through the glass - obviously, other families had a similar idea to ours. Off to my left I kept hearing something I have learned to pick out of almost any crowd: a Utah accent. More accurately it might be called a Utah-Idaho accent or Wasatch front accent, but I associate it primarily with Utah because that is where I first heard it. I can tell when a customer service agent is from Utah. I pegged one of the loan agents in Texas for having grown up in Utah - and he left fifteen or twenty years ago. In a strange way, it makes me think of home, probably because so much of my wife's family lives or has lived out there.

So I kept hearing that accent. I kept cocking my head to see who it was without being overtly rude. I'm just a curious person by nature. I figured out it belonged to the woman at the table beside us, but I didn't think I should just blurt out, "What's someone from Utah doing in south Georgia?" After all, that reminds me far too much of a popular phrase my wife and I both hear far too often, "Ye ain' from 'roun' here, er ya?" (okay, it is rarely said with such distinctive backwater tones, but it still has that ring to it).

Instead, I thought I would let the moment pass without comment. Then she and her family were preparing to leave and she said, "He is such a happy baby." or something along those lines. My son is indeed a very sweet natured child, and I said, "This is about how fussy he gets," he was not even making a sound, "I think that's just the way third children are."

She picked up on what I said and told me she and her husband were both third children. She pointed out her third daughter happened to be sitting there when I said it. I said, "I'm a third, but that doesn't count because I'm the baby. My wife is the baby, too, but she's the youngest of nine." Again the woman noticed what I said and mentioned she was third of eight and her husband was third of nine. I said, "You probably hear a lot of 'Are you Catholic?' then 'Are you farmers?' and finally 'Are you Mormon?'"

She said, "Are you Mormon?" and I said I was, so she said "We are, too!"

As it turned out, they were a couple that our friends had been telling us about for weeks. We had several common connections beyond just being members of the church. It turned into a thirty-plus minute conversation of how we all came to be where we are, how we each met our spouses, and how we'd met our common friends. In the course of that chat, the husband said, "The church is like one big family... like Olive Garden." I got a kick out of that line. How true it is, though. I didn't assume they were Mormon because they were from Utah. I didn't even presume to say anything to them just because they sounded different from the locals. Still, just because of a common bond we share, simple chit-chat about children turned into something much more. I have had more wonderful conversations with people in even more random locations because of a shared faith. Just such a conversation led me to find the school where I am meant to finish my education. I feel blessed to be a part of something like the LDS Church.

-- Robert

Vibrance of Youth

2009-05-15T07:13:00.001-07:00

Last night, I had a wonderful conversation with a young man I haven't seen in a while. He is about to start taking piano lessons from my wife. In his eyes, I saw something I hadn't seen in him for a while: hope. A vision of the future, perhaps. Whatever it was, it clearly had changed his coutenance, and I was glad of it. He has always been a "good" kid, so it was hard to see him going through a rough time, but now he seems to have decided to do some things for himself instead of for "the crowd". Instead of playing every sport available, he wants to focus on becoming a musician and acting with the drama department at school. He even has a plan for where he wants to go to college and what he wants to do when he gets there. I was glad to hear it. I told him that a sailboat on the water without a plan will go whichever way the wind blows, but if its captain has a plan he knows which way to trim the sails. So many people wander aimlessly through life, letting forces outside of themselves dictate their paths. Clearly this young man still has a lot of years ahead of him before he can accomplish the plan he has set in place, but I hope, and more importantly believe, he can. Focus of purpose is powerful, and desire is even better.

How did I conclude he was serious about his plan? As we were about to part, my wife's friend mentioned a book in our presence, How Full Is Your Bucket, and I told him a little bit about it. Then I told him about another book written by the same author, Strengthsfinder 2.0, and then another one for youth called Strengths Explorer. He said, "I would love to read that book, and with summer coming up, I've got plenty of time to do it." Someone who really wants to accomplish a goal tends to look for resources to do so. When I suggested he might find some insights into his plan by reading those books, he jumped at the chance. That's how I knew he was serious, and that's why I feel confident he can achieve his goals.

He also invigorated me because that conversation is just the sort I hope to be having with future students when I become a professor. I know that is my calling in life, to inspire others to greater heights. I am excited for that future.

-- Robert

P.S. Yes, I realize this is the longest period I've had without a post on this blog. I've had a lot going on at work and in life as we prepare for our move. We've got less than two months before we leave, and I've got a lot to accomplish in that time.

True Tech Support, And the Power of Blogging

2009-04-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

This past week, I found the power of the blog affirmed mightily. Within hours of writing this post about Norton 360 and my problems with Symantec Tech Support, I had a comment from a Symantec Public Relations agent hoping to resolve the matter. Wow, who knew the power of a simple grievance post. I first made sure the post was legitimate - someone would have to be very bored to impersonate Symantec PR, I imagine - and then waited for the promised tech support contact.

I had an email from a senior tech within a day. I did not feel like going in to work on the weekend to work on the problem, so I asked him to contact me Monday or Tuesday. He said he would call me at 2:00 PM EDT on Tuesday, and he was punctual. I explained my problem, and he quickly initiated a remote control session on my server to diagnose it. He checked the version of the product (something the prior tech's never even asked) and discovered it was not the latest available. He explained that anyone with a subscription to a Norton product could upgrade to the lastest edition of that product for free, and then he downloaded the upgrade I needed.

Voila, within thirty minutes of the initiation of the call, I had a resolution. The latest version did not have any of the conflicts the prior version did. It almost seemed too easy, but before I even had a chance to cast any doubt, he assured me he would check back in a couple of days to verify that I was still satisfied with my situation. He made some additional suggestions to help my server's performance and let me know he planned to follow up on those as well.

I retract any complaints I had about Norton, save one: I am sorry it took me writing a blog post to get this kind of help. If I could have had that kind of help from the beginning, the post would never have been necessary. That said, I am highly pleased with Norton 360 and with the tech support agent who helped me with my problem.

-- Robert

Tech Sup... Well, Maybe Support's Not the Right Word

2009-04-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

So my server's back in place, but with a very different problem. We can't leave the firewall on and still get to the files on the server. At first, I thought it was being caused by a change in some settings that my software provider recommended to work with their software. They spent two hours trying different ways to fix the problem, and in the end they determined the firewall was causing the problem and it had nothing to do with settings they created (for the record, I agree with them, so I am leaving their names out of this rant... I mean post).

So, I went to the "contact us" link on the Norton 360 product, which runs the firewall in question. The first tech support agent - using lots of hot-keyed phrases with my name inserted to look like he was really paying attention - suggested a couple of ideas before offering to remote in to my computer and change the settings "while [I] sit back and watch." Before I could even try to say yes, though, he'd closed the chat window.

So I tried to use the link he provided to get him back in case we got disconnected. No luck. So I went for tech support agent number two, one Priyadharishini Mohan (I saved his name for posterity... or for a future complaint filing). He offered the same remote session - with the hot-keys again, because it was if I didn't log on and immediately ask "Hey, your other agent was about to remote in, and I would really like you to do that." Which, of course, was exactly what I had done.

This tech did get the remote session going. He changed some settings on my computer, which was not the one causing the problem, and said "Check the issue now." I showed him I still could not reach the files on the server. He said he would need to reach the server, so I tried several ways he offered, only to finally suggest, "How about I remote in to my server from this computer, then you can control the server here?" I did and he proceeded to do exactly what I already knew how to do: he turned off the firewall. Then he said, "Check the issue now." So I turned the firewall back on and showed him the issue was still there. He said, "You still have the issue with the firewall down." I said, "No, I don't, I turned the firewall back on because I already know how to turn the firewall off to get in. You just watched me do it when I created this remote session. I don't want to have to take my firewall down every time I want to log on to my server's files from another computer." The next phrase I saw, I swear (I can even copy it from the transcript as proof) was Priyadharishini Mohan is rebooting your computer...

Rebooting the computer solved the problem for him very simply: it got rid of me. He did not ask if he could reboot the computer. He did not suggest it first. He simply did it, and then his connection was severed. I had unsaved work on my computer. It was lost as a result of his reboot, but no matter. At least he no longer had a problem to deal with.

So I got on my server to get tech support agent number three. He changed various settings, fortunately he made no effort to reboot my computer or just turn off the firewall to solve it. He actually tried to change a few settings. I realized as I watched him that he left several things undone in his process, so he was sloppy, but he at least tried. Still, in the end, having started at ten that morning, by three I was still not able to do the one thing I needed: to leave my firewall in place against everyone but the computers in my office. If my co-worker had not given me some of her lunch I might have been in really bad shape, but instead I was just very annoyed. I gave up for the day, since I actually had other work to accomplish (no, seriously, I had work to do, honest, I was not playing "prank the techie" or anything). I got a case number and a phone number to contact Norton again, and I logged off. Nothing having changed about my problem. Well, that's not exactly correct: I now had a deeper problem than just not getting to my files without turning off my firewall. Now I have a problem with the firewall creator not even knowing how to set it up correctly to protect my server.

In short, I'm not sure when I will ever buy another Norton product again.

Superiority

2009-04-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

A I started to title this post "Why aren't we all one color?" or perhaps "White Man's Burden." It would get attention, I'm sure. What I am referring to here, though, runs deeper than race or color. The idea behind "white man's burden" was that whites felt (or feel) superior to non-whites and tried to civilize them. This concept was carried out by militaries and missionaries to Africa, southeast Asia, and parts in between. My problem with it, though, as I still see it today is simple: treating anyone as if they are too stupid to accomplish a task for themselves denies the opportunity to grow and learn.

Sadly, many of the philosophies I see in socialism are based on the idea that some people are incapable of helping themselves. The fastest way to make them incapable, though, is to do it for them. As I have reflected on the book my wife and I have been reading, I see so many truisms that relate to my own philosophy of life. I believe that people, barring extreme handicap, tend to be capable of providing for themselves. I have seen the blind, deaf, and dumb work quite proficiently. I have seen those in wheel chairs, with down syndrome, and those without limbs outwork those with no such infirmity. I have also seen people with capable minds and bodies claim they couldn't work and instead take assistance from others. What I generally see in that latter case is someone dejected, who looks and acts like someone with no self esteem or sense of self worth. Is that person truly being lifted up by the aid being given him? I say no.

I see many of the philosophies of "helping the less fortunate" as "I am better than these fools." I am glad to help those who are down on their luck. I do not see the accompanying need to treat them as incapable of eventually helping themselves. I would much rather "teach a man to fish" than bring him his daily bread for eternity. How much better would our world be if we quit looking at those who don't have something with pity (i.e., from a perspective of superiority) and focused instead of what they do have, what they can do, and how we can all move forward with their skills and ours working together.

Rodney King's phrase, "Can't we all just get along?" comes to mind. Perhaps a better version might be: can't we all just be brothers and sisters in the human family and work together? Can't we quit trying to look out for others' needs as if they are children and instead help them meet those needs themselves?

Oh, wait... I quit talking politics here. Forget I said anything.

-- Robert

Server Crash

2009-04-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

This work week did not start well. That is to say, Monday morning, I came in to find I had no access to my main files. After repeated attempts to resolve the problem - okay, I'm oversimplifying, after an entire day of doing my own checks and finally calling tech support for my main software - it was apparent that the server was not well. Fortunately I had the foresight to back up the file with all the day's work sometime before the last crash that seem to completely disable it.

Seemed is an important point here.

For all the problems I was having, each time I attached a monitor to it, it would appear to go down. What I discovered when I had a more capable computer tech work on it, though, was that the problem was not the computer itself, but the video card. I had a blown DVI video card. Because of that blown card, though, I had been repeating rebooting a computer, unaware it was probably booting fine - just without a picture. The repeated reboots slowly corrupted my mirrored hard drives, which led to the other problems I was encountering. The computer tech also helped me learn that I actually had a VGA card that worked on the server, but it was disabled early in the boot process (before my monitor would wake up) when I did not "press F1 to run in VGA mode". Without the DVI card in, though, it automatically booted with the VGA working, and now it should be fully recovered and back in place tomorrow.

What have I learned? Even triple backups can't automatically overcome something as simple as a blown video card. At least not right away. Within a day or so, I could have a new server in place, or this server with new hard drives, and have all my files restored. But the triple backups did not help me realize the real problem.

I feel myself beginning to wax philisophical, pondering what I might learn from this experience. What we see is not always as it appears, for one. I thought I had a blown server, when all I had was a computer that wasn't showing me a picture. Sometimes we have to look deeper. I might not have caused the other problems with the computer if I had considered the video card.

-- Robert

P.S. My wife did think it was just a video card after I took the computer to someone else. Hat's off to her for considering what I didn't. Important lesson number two: men, listen to your wives.

Insatiable

2009-04-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend, as my wife and I were driving to Atlanta, we were having a discussion about the parenting book we've both been reading. Being the introspective (some might self-absorbed) person that I am, I commented on what I saw in the book about my own childhood.

And I had an epiphany. Before I explain, I want to be clear: I am not trying to pass judgment on my parents for what I'm writing. I simply realized that one of the ways my mother responded to my efforts had a profound influence on my entire character. I was, and in many still am, insatiable. One reason this book would suggest as to why was the way my mother was never complimentary to my grades. If I got a 93, she would ask, "Do you understand what you missed?" If I got a 100, she asked, "Was that the highest score possible." These were neither preceded or followed by any form of of the phrase "job well done."

I have no sour grapes over what she helped make me. I became a child who wanted to always do my best and even then I wasn't necessarily pleased. I was a very successful student as a result. I looked for new and better ways to improve myself and my outputs. I was able to use what I learned and what I became to pay my way through my Bachelor's on scholarships, and then get paid to get a Masters and now to get a Ph.D. I see no reason to complain about my psyche in this regard. I would say I did teach myself to deal with doing less than my best, but it still involved coping rather than being satisfied. I have never liked grades below A for myself. At least not in subjects I care about. So yes, I am grateful that the desire she instilled helped make me a success.

The problem is, my insatiable nature was not limited to school. I am overweight. One reason I am overweight is I do not have something in me that says "I am no longer hungry." I wonder if one reason for that is the fact that I was treated as a disposal by various family members (not always my mother) as a child. If there was just a little left of something, I was expected to eat it quite often. If I had not broken my leg at four and been more involved in sports in my early years, then it might not have resulted in my becoming overweight. Still, I can see how some elements of my weight stem from the same insatiable personality. If I had learned to stop myself, I might not be so big. It's something I will struggle with for the rest of my life, I am sure.

So what am I saying? No, I am not saying "it's all my parents' fault." What would I be blaming them for, exactly? I have a wonderful family, I am generally successful in life, I am a happy person most of the time, and I am about to pursue a lifelong dream with the support of a wonderful wife who has urged me to do it. So maybe it is my parents' "fault" that I love education, and their "fault" I am so successful. They certainly deserve a lot of credit for the good in me, so this is not a negative post. It was just something that I've thought about many times in the past - how I was raised - and I realized a lot of who I am could be tied to that one word. I'm not sure I'd change it, either. I just need to be aware of it, and manage it wisely in the places where it can hurt me. As for it helping me in my career... I can't say I will try to rein it in at all.

-- Robert

Be All You Can Be

2009-04-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

In the comments of my last post, I had a request to make a full post on something we were discussing. It has been a while since someone actually asked me to blog on a topic, so I am glad to oblige. We were discussing human potential, for lack of a better simplification: what can people become? I believe, as an integral part of my faith, that human beings have the potential to become like God. The scriptures show us that the Savior taught us in Matthew 5:48 to do so, "Be ye therefore perfect, as your Father in Heaven is perfect."

To be clear, we can never become Heavenly Father. We can never be him, no more so than I can become my father here on Earth. I can follow in my Heavenly Father's footsteps, take his guidance and teaching, and in the course of eternity I have the chance to become a god. I believe it, but I admit that even as I write it, I struggle to comprehend it fully. It was the last great stumbling block for me in accepting my faith. Yet again, I read the scriptures to find that in John 10:34 Jesus quoted Psalm 82, when he said, "Is it not written, ye are gods, and children of the most high?" In other words, he made it plain that he understood and believed what human beings are, and his teachings reflected that.

Human beings, simply put, are therefore gods in embryo. No, we will not become gods in Earthly life. Mortal life is a testing ground, a chance to learn and grow - in a simpler way, like school is to a child - before we reach beyond this life into the next, into eternity. To those who question the possibility of becoming a god, I ask a few questions (and have asked them of many and have not found a satisfactory answer short of what I believe): what do we do after we die? Do we reach our full potential in life, and in death we can never grow? If we can grow in eternity, then at what point do we stop growing? If we are not held back, then why can't we reach a point where we are a god?

The most typical answers are blunt: because that's just not true, because that's not possible, or because that doesn't make sense. I know because I had the same answers to those questions once upon a time. But then there is a simple follow up question: if God wanted us to know that we could become gods ourselves, how would he tell us? Or better yet, what more could he say than is said in those verses already quoted?

I agree that it sounds quite amazing, even beyond reason. But everything is possible with the Lord. And he wants everything for his children. So what can we become? His children in every sense of the word, since that is what we are.

When I look at history and mythology, I see so much that clearly came out of this truth: the pharaoh's of Egypt believed they became gods (and some believe their gods were in fact early pharaohs). Greeks had stories gods and demigods that seem clearly linked with the idea of the human potential to become a god. Many cultures had divine kings who were believed to be gods among their people.

So many Christians have come to believe that Christ taught of a monotheistic religion. It is true that God the Father is one being, but Jesus Christ is another being, and also a god. The Spirit is another god. At the very least, Christianity is a belief system centered around a triumvirate of gods. In truth, though, there is a clear message in the gospel: we can be all He wants us to be, which is to become gods. What an amazing opportunity, and what a great goal. I know I am a long way from being worthy to even be considered for such a lofty state, but knowing what I can be helps me believe more in myself in this life, which really improves my state of mind. Each trial is a chance to learn and grow, and if I follow the guidance of the Spirit - which comes direct from the Father - I can get closer to what my Heavenly Father wants me to be.

-- Robert

P.S. My post about potential kept coming to mind as I wrote this, and I see my calling to become a professor as very linked to helping people find their full potential. I hope I can help people realize all they can be in that process.

Common Interest

2009-04-09T05:51:00.000-07:00

To my post yesterday, my wife asked, "What about on a small scale, such as each family? What if a family ran for what is best as a whole instead of just each for himself?"

Certainly, I think certain elements of society can definitely run for the interest of a subset group. A family is a great example where individuals sacrifice their wants and needs for the sake of the group - such as a mother sacrificing career goals for the sake of being home with a child, or a husband working fewer hours at the office that might advance his career so he can be more available to his family. I think that's a fine example where communal interest can be worked toward to achieve a greater whole.

The problem not addressed in socialism in general, and not addressed in Galaxia effectively, is the need for a common goal or cause. Simply wanting a better world doesn't work for a lot of people. If that better world means that someone must have a smaller house, drive a smaller car, eat less, work harder, or myriad other things, then that someone is likely to shirk. Shirking, simply means failing to do one's best in this context. If working harder (or generating more, however that is best described) will not directly benefit the person putting for the effort, that person is less likely to continue the extended effort. Karl Marx certainly overlooked the key element of the society he based the Communist Manifesto on: he studied a monastery and how well it functioned by working for the sake of the whole, but then he removed faith from the equation, which was the glue that bound their efforts together.

In the novel, the reason for Galaxia was to create a system that removed waste as much as possible, or more correctly removed excess. By removing the waste, the system would achieve a higher state (I believe the scientific term is entropy). At the very end, a reason that might justify the need to work together is presented, but it felt very tacked on to me (not to criticize a master, just my observation). Removing that onerous threat from the equation - a threat which most would deny or ignore anyway - I have trouble believing people would subjugate themselves to such a system willingly.

So, once again, socialism sounds wonderful in the ideal. "We're in this together!" is a great slogan. Or Rodney King's famous "Can't we all just... get along?" The problem is, the selfish nature of humanity is involved - and I am not convinced that it is a bad thing to have in the equation. Throughout the series, the characters acknowledge that society begins to decay when greatness reaches a level at which no one feels compelled to strive for "more" - whatever more might be. Scientific innovation tends to come from a need observed. If society is perfectly satisfying - or extremely satisfying with few shortcomings - then why would anyone worry about improving it? Certainly the world today is far from perfect, so people will continue to work for a better tomorrow. But if they cannot hope to reap the benefits of that "better" and that "more" then why should anyone expect them to try for it?

So returning to my wife's point, I can absolutely see sacrificing my own needs for the sake of my children. I can eat less to provide more for them. I can drive a minivan for their comfort instead of cramming their little legs into the back of a sports car I might want (or in my case, perhaps a small pickup). I just have trouble believing anyone else will necessarily sacrifice for them, and I have trouble asking them (my children) to sacrifice for someone else who may or may not be putting forth their best effort. I have trouble believing anyone else is willing to sacrifice for me and for my family. Instead, what we get is a lot of shirking.

Pure capitalism may not be an answer to any of these problems, but from an academically economic standpoint, it is hard to argue for socialism in practice - at least when practiced on a large scale, and whenever it is put in without a common goal. Correction: a commonly accepted goal. Without the agreed focus, the smaller players in the system are more likely to work in their own interests (to quote Seinfeld, "not that there's anything wrong with that...").

-- Robert

When Academic Reading And Pleasure Reading Mix...

2009-04-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

I have been reading the book A General Theory of Competition around the Asimov Foundation series. I noticed something as I was reading Foundation And Earth, where the concept of "Galaxia" is discussed. The idea of all parts of the galaxy working together for to remove waste and improve the whole. That theory sounds somewhat like an idealized socialism, but it mostly reminded me of the theory of perfect competition, which is all through the first book I mentioned. The idea is that the market reacts to any changes with minimal costs related to changing the equilibrium price of the market.

Imagine, for instance, that the market being discussed was corn. If the market responds perfectly, then when a late freeze destroys a large percentage of a given area's crops, the equilibrium price would move rapidly - if not automatically - to a higher price given the decreased supply and continued demand. That tends to happen in commodities markets like produce where products are generally the same. If, however, the market being discussed were the automobile market, or the small sedan market (a lot of discussions could be brought up about how a market is defined), then how might news of a strike at one automaker's facility effect that price? It is hard to believe that it would respond rapidly in some obvious way. The information is fairly ambiguous, for one thing. The problem, though, is if it's not even clear HOW a market should react, how can we believe it will react immediately without costs? Will there not be a momentary confusion?

And that brings me back to how I saw Galaxia tied in. If society truly knew what was "best" and everyone reacted accordingly, that might mimic perfect competition. The problem, though, is that what is "best" is never that clear. As such, the expectation of sacrifice in a concept like Galaxia, or in socialism, ignores human nature. In Galaxia, everything (humans, animals, plants, even non-living things) communicates to convey all that is known by the whole so that some equilibrium state can be met, which sounds wonderful until it is actually applied. Even if people know that someone else would benefit more from their possessions than they would themselves, it is hard to imagine most people simply giving up what they own. A lot of people share with the less fortunate, and I'm all for doing just that, but the idea that everyone must do what is best for everyone... it simply doesn't pan out.

This post is quickly spiraling out of control, I can see. I'm simply trying to formulate my opinion about these ideas in practice. I have trouble believing humanity - at least in this life - could ever approach something so close to Galaxia, or a perfectly competitive marketplace in all ways, or a socialistically ideal state. I also have trouble seeing that approaching those - not even achieving, but simply trying to get there - would actually be a good thing. What I see in those ideas is stagnation. If no one is trying to get ahead, then who is trying to improve things? Who is bringing about transformative change for the better if everyone already believes they are living in what is "best"? And that is what it all comes down to: I have trouble believing a society run by mankind that is all for the "common good" will ever work - nor should it. Better that we communicate ineffectively, struggle, obfuscate, strive, persevere, share, judge, help, learn, grow, and generally find our own way in the world.

-- Robert

Focus

2009-04-06T13:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend, my church held its semi-annual General Conference. On Saturday night, one of our leaders, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, himself a retired pilot, told a story about an airplane accident some years ago in the Everglades near Miami, FL. Then plane crashed despite fully functioning engines, wings, and landing gear. It was not out of fuel. The pilot and co-pilot were both alive and well. In short, nothing was wrong with the plane that kept it from being able to take off, fly, or land properly.

So what went wrong? A single green bulb had burned out: the one that signaled that the nose landing gear was down. Because the pilot did not see that bulb burning, he put the plane into a holding pattern while he investigated the bulb. He did not have anyone check to find out that the gear was down (which it was). He became so obsessed with the bulb that when someone noticed they were speeding toward the ground, it was too late to pull up. He let his focus get off of the important task of landing because he was obsessed with something that, in the end, was unimportant and even incorrect.

How often do we do that in life? We obsess over a television series, the next American Idol precedings, Spider Solitaire, EA Sports next new game,blogs (oops), or whatever else. Meanwhile, important things like spending time with family, accomplishing work, exercise, prayer and scripture study, and so much else in life goes by the way side. I am as guilty as the next person of letting little things distract me from what truly matters. I just appreciated the reminder to reconsider my focus and to make sure I find balance, even with the good things of life, so I don't crash and burn.

-- Robert

Sunshine Again

2009-04-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

The last three days here it has rained. Let's be clear: it has rained to the point that people preface most phone calls to this area with, "So, have you washed away yet?" We haven't, but our quicksand driveway seemed like it might. The today school was cancelled because some bridges were taken out or made unsafe by flooding - and the sun came out on Spring Break for the kids.

What a lovely metaphor for how my days have gone. I was sad and gloomy over my favorite laptop's demise. Instead of enjoying the prospect of a new laptop - which we had budgeted and saved for and planned for over a year to buy right before heading back to school - I had to buy because my computer was broken. I started to see a taste of sunlight when I optimized a machine through Dell and then a different one through HP that would positively blow away any computer I've even been in the presence of. But I decided it was not wise to spend that much one computer that in a year (or may be two) might seem pedestrian by comparison. So, instead I decided to scrap the idea and work with my laptop as a desktop. It's much harder to do that when children want to watch Bob the Builder for the 95th time on the same screen I need to use, though, but I could make due. I actually let the HP phones salesman help talk me down from wanting the super laptop. Then towards the end of our conversation - having steered me to a much more economical machine that could still perform quite nicely - I commented on one of the "accessories" laughingly.

"Why would anyone get a Mini along with a laptop?"

"Oh they're very nice if you don't want to carry your big notebook around. They're really nice, actually."

"Yeah, but my big hands wouldn't be much use on one."

"Oh, their keyboards are 92% of regular keyboards, so they're quite comfortable."

A light came on: what if just got a Mini? So I batted that idea around for a while and another email came from Dell: get a Mini for $50 with a Dell Latitude. So I checked into it, and a great Latitude was reasonably priced, and with two upgrades that made the Mini slightly more expensive than a big external hard drive might be, I had my deal. I bought it, feeling at peace with my decision.

And then my brother-in-law showed me a $99 new LCD that would fit my broken laptop! It was like seeing a rainbow after the storm. Suddenly, instead of every computer in our house being on crutches (my wife's power cord broke the day after my laptop took its dive), we could have three working computers! So I practically leapt for joy. It will be nice not to see my HP turn into a paperweight. Who knows, it might be my daughter's computer some day. The Mini might be hers or my son's. Whatever the case, I've gone from wanting to cry for my laptop to seeing a chance it will work again. How wonderful.

Yes, as I said in my last post, I am a nerd.

-- Robert

Amazon Recommends...

2009-04-02T05:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have arrived as a geek. Sure, I got accepted into a great doctoral program. Yes, I can use "exogeneity" in a sentence and know what it means. But the moment I truly knew I had arrived as a complete nerd?

When Amazon started recommending books on probability and economics to me. I guess that's what happens when you buy about a dozen academic texts in a span of a week. Barnes and Noble does it, too, for the record. Yep, instead of "Check out the new Mary Higgins Clark" I get "Amazon recommends Principles of Economics, Abridged Edition." Sadly, I think at least one of the books they recommended like that, I now already own!

Ah, this is the life. At least I've found my calling. And apparently, I can buy books for it for as little as $10.35. Who knew?

-- Robert

Farewell, Old Friend

2009-04-01T05:07:00.000-07:00

Last night, I lost a great friend. We shared a lot of memories, watched a lot of movies, and played a lot of games together. We travelled across the country several times, avoided many pitfalls, and survived a few bumps and bangs. But not this time.

Yes, my laptop's screen broke. It landed on the corner of the screen and slapped shut, never to show a pretty picture again. Some might laugh. Some might say, "It's only a computer." But they don't understand. It was my favorite laptop ever. I liked it enough to ignore the missing arrow keys my son ripped off in Texas on our road trip. I knew that was the beginning of the end, I guess, but I was still holding out. I didn't want a new laptop. Certainly not yet. I had just bought the third or fourth power cord for it, I liked it so much. Now.... now I have to get the data off of it, and then hope to somehow turn it into a desktop computer. Or more likely, simply recycle it somewhere. It was a sad day for me.

Okay, so yes, it's April Fools, so I wrote this a little tongue in cheek, but honestly, isn't that how it feels when a great computer breaks? It's how I felt when someone broke the one before this one, but this truly has been my favorite laptop ever. It was light, fast, functional, and had a great screen. What more can someone want? I just hope... OH HOW I HOPE... I just hope I can find an adequate replacement. Preferably without Vista.

Goodbye, my little HP.

-- Robert

Reading

2009-03-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not suffering from writer's block. I'm suffering from "I know no one is interested in my thoughts" block. Or at least, "I'm not sure even what I want to write down here" block. I'm loving Asimov, and I've continued to find the academic reading I've gotten into pretty fascinating. I'm becoming, well... an academic. I'm finding more and more as people ask me what I want to accomplish, I can explain it, and I can refer to examples of what I've seen in research that might lead me down my own topical paths in the future.

So yes, I have plenty on my mind to write about. I am just still formulating the thoughts too much and reading too much to really commit those thoughts to the Internet.

Communication

2009-03-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

"Speech, originally, was the device whereby Man learned, imperfectly, to transmit the thoughts and emotions of the mind. By setting up arbitrary sounds and combinations of sounds to represent certain mental nuances, he developed a method of communication - but one which in its clumsiness and thick-thumbed inadequacy degenerated all the delicacy of the mind into gross and guttural signaling." - Isaac Asimov, Second Foundation

I must say, that passage (along with others that are similarly insightful), jumped out to me even as I read it. How clearly it describes the human condition. He goes on to explain that essentially all the misunderstandings in history from small squabbles between friends to full on wars could be traced to this very problem: we don't understand each other. If we could read each other's thoughts, the need for subterfuge - the need to be deceptive - would be eliminated as moot. Instead, we are left with ambiguity, uncertainty, confusion, and so much more. Would the world be a better place if we could see into each other's thoughts? I'm not sure, but I can at least see why Asimov admired the idea of telepathy as an improved form of communication. I wonder if that was what it was like before the Tower of Babel confounded the language of man. Indeed, is that what it will be like in the afterlife?

Perhaps this post begins to show why I am loving these books. They are very insightful, and extremely thought provoking. Certainly, there are some anachronistic elements given the era in which the books were written, but I am amazed at how well his story holds up even with fifty years of scientific development in the interim that would change the way he saw the future. Again, I regret having taken so long to join his fan club, but at least I'm there now.

-- Robert

The 300 Club

2009-03-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

No, I have not hit a little stitched leather ball with a stick three hundred times, but I am now writing my 300th post. No, it will not be "300 things about me" or even "what were the first 299 posts about". I just felt like pointing out I was writing my 300th post.

There. I did it.

Whew, now with all that fanfare out of the way - please stop blowing the party horns - we can move on to more important things. Whatever those might be.....

Drawing a blank, too, eh? Well, okay, my problem is I probably have four different subjects going on in my head all at once, and they don't make for one post. At least two of them are very retread type material - moving and school - but I have a legitimate question for the moving one: anyone with advice on movers, I'd love to hear good and bad. Horror stories always make for a great comment stream at the very least. Feel free to use it for posts on other blogs, but point me to them at least. School, well, yeah, I know people are somewhat tired of hearing about it.

I'm also thinking about these great Asimov books I've been reading - well into the fourth book of the Foundation series - Second Foundation - and ran across a great passage I want to write a full post about. So people can ignore that one, too.

The last thing I am thinking about is my lovely weekend, as well as my wife's. She went to a great conference with a friend while we husbands watched the friend's daughter - my wife had the baby and my parents had our two older kids - and mostly relaxed at a nice condo. I love to see how these conferences help my wife because they are so edifying. I would love to write about one of her takeaways, but I won't steal her thunder.

So, for those keeping score: I could write four separate posts, and I might still make two from this one, and I have to wait on a potential third... but at least I wrote a fresh, original post.

-- Robert

P.S. No, I am not at all bitter that people aren't commenting. Truly, I'm not. I don't expect it on my "same song, twenty-fifth verse, this one's bad but so was the first" posts about my own reflections as we prepare to go to Texas. Those are for me. Any comments are welcome, but not expected.

Problem Solver

2009-03-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I posted about the book Strengthsfinder 2.0, and I listed my five strengths. The accompanying book Strengths Based Leadership breaks all the strengths into categories - executing, influencing, relationship building, and strategic thinking. One of my strengths was influencing - maximizer, my strongest, which basically means I love to find my own strengths and the strengths of others and maximize them. Another was in relationship building - individualization, which means I see people distinctly and not as a stereotype. The other three fell into strategic thinking - strategic (seeing solutions), context (learning from the past), and futuristic (looking to the future). Basically what that says to me is that I look at people individually, and at problems individually, I find the people who can best meet it given their skillset, and I organize a group to create a solution based on past experience and future desired outcomes. Basically, I solve the problem.

I have always been a problem solver. I loved solving logic problems, crossword puzzles, and math quizzes since I was little. When it came to people, I was the friend who people came to for tutoring, help with relationship troubles, or suggestions of how to deal with a teacher they were not seeing eye to eye with. I have diffused countless squabbles between peers just because I saw a way to find peace, or at least resolution. The biggest problem with being a lifetime problem solver: solving the problem of wanting to solve the problem.

I really have been working at being a better listener. I can be a great listener, and when I choose to use that ability, some people even think it's one of my greatest abilities. I think it is because I have really worked on it in my life, not because it necessarily comes natural to me. Lately, though, I find myself overtalking people again far too much. I want to "solve the problem" in what they're saying - even if they're not presenting one. I also tend to over-personalize: I have an amazing ability to make almost any story about me. I hate that I do it, sometimes even as I do it. Yet I see the connections between other people's stories and my own so readily, it's hard not to want to say, "Oh, this is how I dealt with that problem." Again, I do it even when they're clearly not asking how to solve it. It's especially annoying when they're not even talking about a present problem, but something from years back.

So I am writing this post as my personal pledge: I am going to do my best to stop overtalking, stop making the story about me, and stop solving problems without being asked. If I come close to that goal, I'm sure I will learn from the exercise. Who knows I might even learn to solve another problem.

-- Robert

Countdown

2009-03-19T10:31:00.001-07:00

If all goes according to plan - famous last words, right? - we will be moving in about 100 days. And thus, as quick as we can blink, our future goes from the amorphous "what if's" of unknowing to the more concrete "what next" of being short on time. Fortunately, my wife and I are both pretty good at getting a lot done in a little.

Am I being too cryptic? I guess I just feel like I'm about to start packing my bags so I can check them in at the airport before the proverbial flight of life takes us to the next destination. The metaphor is a stretch, but the feelings are similar: I find myself thinking "I will be there". Whenever I am waiting to board a plane, I feel that sensation. The same goes for the anticipation just before a play or a movie - I am about to experience something. That semi-anxious excitement - the juicing of the moment - draws my senses into greater focus. Now I just have to calm the excitement enough to accomplish the tasks still requiring my attention here. Not the least of which is getting the rental house packed, the moving company arranged, and figuring out just how much there is to be taken with us. I do not discount the tremendous help my wife will be on all those tasks, but those are things on my mind to somehow coordinate in the time remaining so that we can just perform the plan and hope to be done in time.

The biggest problem with such a plan? Knowing when to start so it can all happen in time to leave but not disrupt life too much in the meantime. This move is a greater undertaking than our previous two (or three, really, counting the smaller in-town move to the rental) because the first was made cross-country but with limited stuff and the second was just across town but did not require complete removal nor one big trip. This move will requires both getting it all and getting it all at once.

Somehow, I will try to think of something else to blog about. I just hope this post begins to show how filled my mind is with thoughts of the future, which I'm sure anyone still reading is utterly sick of.

-- Robert

Where Else Would This Group Come Together

2009-03-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sat in the presence of a banker, a car dealer, a janitor, a researcher, a teacher, a Wal-Mart greeter, a computer expert, a prominent politico, a nursery owner, many retirees, some unemployed folks, and well... quite a lot of the rest of humanity.

Yes, I had a jury summons. And I have it again today. I'm getting in some good reading time on Asimov at least. I did not get called yesterday, and perhaps I won't get called today. Whatever the case, I find it quite surreal to see such a group of people all in one place. For the record, the nursery man, janitor, car dealer, and politico all made the grand jury, with the car dealer serving as its foreman.

Welcome to the legal system in action.

UPDATED: Today, instead of naming off forty people to include in the jury pool, they named off sixty to let go - until tomorrow. At least we're all getting rich off $15/day or whatever they pay us.

-- Robert

When a Plan Comes Together

2009-03-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

I know there's a great movie line about how wonderful it is when a plan comes together. I can't remember it just now, but I must say, I definitely love seeing many different elements of life form into something clear and connected. The final piece of the puzzle is forming for Texas: we got approved for a home loan, and we found the perfect place to get a home. We'll be building in the neighborhood we most wanted, just across from the pool and park area, so it's like having a giant yard with a pool without having to maintain it. The house will be done almost exactly when we wanted to move in, if they can start in a week or two. Truly, the blessings that have come as we have worked toward this point have been amazing. We are very fortunate, and we are very excited.

Conversations With an Angel

2009-03-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

I have to write this post right now. I am talking with an angel. My son, just nine and a half weeks old, is telling me all about heaven. At least, that's what he must be saying as he murmurs sweetly to me. I am so lucky to know this little guy, let alone call him my son. He's such a happy, good-natured spirit. I look forward to getting to know him in the years to come.

Athens Bound

2009-03-13T05:49:00.000-07:00

Today we're all heading up to Athens, GA, and the The University of Georgia. My wife had been wanting to run a 5k to get her running kick-started again (pun only slightly intended) after our son was born, and they are having one tomorrow. I also wanted to go thank my recommending professors in person for helping me get into Texa Tech, plus I love any excuse to see Athens.

Athens was a place of redemption for me in so many ways. When I was miserable at my first college, I found a home there. When I wanted to give back more because I had been just a shell of myself in the two years I spent there after transferring, I was able to shine. I joined the church there, got engaged there, and saw the future that we are about to embark on there. More than almost any other place I've ever been, Athens feels like home. Even the town where I grew up in feels less like home now.

So yes, I am looking forward to a lovely weekend in a great town. It will probably be somewhat of a farewell tour, though. I have no idea when I'll next be back.

-- Robert

Pushed And Pulled

2009-03-11T05:31:00.000-07:00

Last night my wife and I saw what I would describe as a fairly poor film. It had its moments, but for the most part it did not hit the mark I believe it was going for. Still, Push did make me think about something - perhaps as my mind was trying to wander away from the screen.

In the movie, there are people who can "push" thoughts into others heads. How often do people try to do that in the real world? How often are we expected to believe ridiculous stories: "I did not realize that gift of hundreds of thousands of dollars might be considered taxable," or "I want to find the real killers," or even "I did not have... relations with that woman." Seriously, people try to push their version of truth into our minds all the time. Maybe that's why the truth has become so amorphous to most people - they think truth is almost totally subjective, free from a set of definite rules or mores. What we're left with is a lot of gray area for what is right, what is wrong, what is real, and what is phony.

Is it any wonder that so many people feel lost? Is it any wonder that materialism drives so many decisions politically as well as individually? Status matters more than truth to many - if a white lie (or a completely false application) gets someone their dream job, who or what does it hurt? It hurts a lot of people, in point of fact, but since "everybody's doing it" many people overlook it.

I digress. It's amazing what can cross my mind when a movie gets weird or boring. Maybe the thought just got pushed into my head, "This movie isn't terrible. It's great. It makes you think deep thoughts."

Or maybe I'm just trying to justify the money I shelled out to watch it.

-- Robert

Happy Birthday, Ellie

2009-03-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today is my wife's birthday. We have decided that between the need to celebrate the Texas Tech offer, the need to have a lovely date, and the birthday itself that we shall go to the Melting Pot with a couple of friends. We save it for really special occasions -this will only be our third trip. Still, for a wife as wonderful as mine, it was easy to want to treat her.

She has supported me every step of the way in pursuing my dream. Through the sudden flight to California, the applications to so many schools, the reading of academic literature ad nauseum, the trips to two schools, the recounting of numerous conversations and interviews with professors and students - she has encouraged me constantly. With the sudden decision to sell our home last summer before the first applications were even started, the exodus to in-laws, the later move to a tiny rental home, the fight with mice, dealing with so much of our stuff being in storage for all these months - she has kept her chin up. Now we face the prospect of having to move in to a tiny house, if we're even lucky enough to get a loan for one, and she has remained positive and faithful. We both know the Lord has had a great hand in all these steps - I feel like I ought to write a post just to list them for myself one more time - and yet she helped me remember him one more time, "Robert, if God wants you to go to Texas Tech, then should you wait for the offer to start turning down other schools?" She was right: I needed to be willing to have faith, but just as I made the commitment to do just what she suggested, the offer came (another miracle time amazingly).

This is a post about her, though, not me. I marvel at my wife some days. She does so much to raise our three beautiful children right. She works with each of them to make sure they get what they need. She spends hours thinking of those needs. She wears herself out and gives up so much of herself to do these things. I just hope I haven't kept her like a caged bird in this small town these past few years. I know being in a college town will invigorate her as much as it will me. I am looking forward to the first day we move in. For now, I will simply continue to count my blessings for her patience and understanding. I still don't always know what took me so long to follow this dream. She's known it was meant to be since we met, really, or at least since I was in graduate school before. She's never let me forget it, and I love her for believing in me.

So to my wife, on your birthday, my love, thank you for these six years we've been together, nearly six years of marriage, and more than seven of wonderful friendship. Thank you for being who you are. Most of all, thanks for marrying me.

-- Robert

A Bump in the Road

2009-03-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

With newly accepted offer in hand, Friday I began contacting bankers - through Lending Tree, through email, and by phone - to determine what I needed to get pre-approved for a loan.

They all began their responses with some version of, "In these tough economic times..."

Yet I pressed on. I would not be dissuaded from trying to buy instead of rent when I knew I would not be one of those people foreclosing in a year or two. No, I know I will make good on any loan I receive. Finally, two of them seemed interested in helping me, and one seemed like she actually thought she might succeed in the attempt.

If nothing else, we could rent something, but we would just rather not lose all that rent that could be built up in equity. We would also rather buy in this great buyer's market and hope to sell in a few years when it has had time to recover. If we just live in a small place, we should be fine. We just might have to make very efficient use of any space we have (think, IKEA).

I'll say one thing: it's exciting to be at this stage. Having the decision behind us is much easier on the psyche. Now we can plan a lot more of our future. Once we have our housing lined up, we'll be even more able to focus forward. Then comes the major job: moving.

One step at a time for now, though. Anyone with the magic answer for bankers in this market, I'm all ears.

-- Robert

Official Offer

2009-03-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

I was going to update yesterday's post after I received an invitation from the school I had a phone interview with - I had not expected that invite for another week - but today's message makes that a moot point. I received a phone call from the Ph.D. coordinator at Texas Tech University letting me know I have been officially accepted. He also let me know what my compensation would be as a doctoral student (they call it salary, other schools call it a stipend), which makes the offer complete. I will receive a letter later today with all he said in writing, but it is nice to have the personal touch of a direct contact.

So, I now know where I will be headed next fall: Lubbock, TX, and Texas Tech University. We loved our visit. My wife made a great connection with the wife of my future professor, and I connected well with several. We loved the town, the church, the temple (it will be great to have it only a few minutes from our home), and really everything about it. Most importantly, I prayed about it the entire time I was at my in-laws, and I received a blessing from my father-in-law. In that blessing, I clued in to the word "guidance" as much as anything else. The very next day, one of my professors replied to my email to encourage me strongly to accept the offer if I felt right about it, and another went from telling me to wait to agreeing that I should probably accept it. I already felt the answer was to accept, but with the blessing and those two emails I saw more than coincidence. I saw an answer to prayer.

So, in a few months, we will move to Texas, one of the last places in the country I ever imagined living. We'll be among the thousands of windmills, the tumbleweeds, and the flatland, but most importantly, we'll be among people who care about us and want to see me succeed. I never imagined my search would come to such a great place, and yet here I am, grateful for the guidance I have received from mentors and friends, but also thankful I - no, we - had the faith to follow the Lord's will a few months ago.

-- Robert

More News

2009-03-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

For anyone still wondering, I have now heard that I am finalist from another school. I had an excellent phone interview with them, and I anticipate being asked to fly to meet the rest of the Ph.D. committee, if I don't stop them from inviting me. I enjoyed the good advice the professor gave me to read books instead of articles before I get to school because I won't have time to read them once I get going, but I'll want to. So I ordered one of Joseph Schumpeter's books that is very often cited, and also Frank Knight's book. After I get done reading Dr. Hunt, I may have time to get in another Asimov book before those arrive, but if not I'll probably start reading them next.

One of the first schools to contact me let me know I was their top candidate, but they are working to get funding arranged. The committee at the school where I anticipate accepting is meeting today, so I expect to hear something more concrete from them by the end of the week, if not today. I still have no word from the last two on my list, but I suspect they may have gone in a direction that excludes me. If that is true, I am fine with that because I have found a real home where I plan to accept. Unless something goes terribly wrong, I should be announcing my new school very soon.

-- Robert

Self Interest

2009-03-03T10:12:00.000-08:00

Economics often assumes that all individuals act in their own self interest. The movie A Beautiful Mind showed how much of a breakthrough it was to even question such a belief, in fact. The subject of the film won a Nobel Prize for Economics for showing that people will often act in their own interest with regard to a group. Yet most economics classes teach the idea that markets move because individuals will always act to help themselves.

Thankfully, we, as individuals and as a group, are not required to act as automatons of economic function. We have a great moderator to our self-interest: morals. Many people will not take advantage of someone less fortunate because their own ethics will not let them. A study in the book I'm reading even demonstrated that 40-60% of people will refuse a "free ride" when offered it. They will insist on paying some fair value for the good or service.

Todd, my co-writer, once told me that his friend in the vending business found the highest profit margins in what he called "honor baskets". He would put out some candy or other item with a sign that said asked for the payment to be dropped in the box. Some theft occurred, but the fact that he made money showed that people did pay when it would be easy to steal. Newspapers are sold on the honor system in many places - put in the requisite money and only take one paper. All these evidence a goodness in most people - a basic moral code - that prevents them from acting only as hedonists, driven by their wants above all else.

To me, that is a beautiful thing to learn from research. Certainly it throws a monkey wrench into certain theories that requires a great deal of reformulation, but what a great problem to have. Accounting for morality - what a discipline.

-- Robert

Theory Versus Practice - an Age Old Debate

2009-03-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

This week, thanks to a great conversation followed by a wonderful after dinner chat a week later, I got turned on to two authors. One is the great Isaac Asimov, one of the fathers of science fiction writing and a brilliant writer. Certainly others have suggested I read his work over the years, but since this professor helped me remember that one of my favorite writers, Orson Scott Card, admires him and told me how wonderful the Foundation series was, I decided to finally pick him up. I immensely enjoyed my first Asimov book, Prelude to Foundation. The second author he recommended by sending me a copy of his book A General Theory of Competition is Shelby D. Hunt. His intent in sharing Dr. Hunt's book was more to familiarize me with the mindset of my brilliant future professor, should I go to that school. I have just started on his book, and I noticed a connection I doubt this professor expected me to make, if indeed he made it himself.

Both books, it would seem, take notice of the problem that arises when theory is put into practice. Asimov's whole book centers around a mathematician who, once he presented a paper on a theory he developed, becomes the center of attention for many powerful groups. He continually tries to explain how impractical his theory is to actually use - it is simply something he believes would be possible, if a great deal of information were ever able to be summarized. Since no one person or even a large group of people could expect to bring that data together, though, it is therefore "possible but impractical". He repeats that phrase a great deal. There is a lot more to the book to make it a wonderfully enjoyable read, but his quest throughout centers on making the impractical usable.

Dr. Hunt's book, just as the title suggests, puts forth a general theory of competition. He hopes to include various groups of research under one larger area he calls "Resource Advantage Theory". He notes in the introduction that one of the flaws of the theory of perfect competition within the school of neoclassical economics is how imperfectly it predicts real world events. Theory should, according to one of his sources, "explain and predict phenomena well" but the theory of perfect competition is notoriously bad at predicting problems because perfect competition rarely exists in the real world.

And that's where I thought, "That's the rub, isn't it?" Theory sounds great in the ivory towers of academia. Studying phenomena - events, people, transactions, etc. - and extracting meaning from it - that is the work of scholars. Great theory, though, one would hope, can actually be put into use but what scholars even call "practitioners." I know I have spent many conversations with various parties - my father especially - discussing the problem of expecting a theory learned in a class to apply to an actual situation. Will a decrease in supply automatically mean an increase in price? Will an increase in demand mean the same thing? Neither of those things are a given, simply because there are more variables in the equation of life than just supply and demand, especially supply of and demand for one particular good or service. Economists failed to predict the burst of the Internet Stock Bubble quickly or well, and the danger housing market crash leading to a huge recession in the general marketplace went largely unnoticed until it happened. The reason is because humanity, in all its facets, is an unpredictable force. Asimov's mathematician hoped to find a way to predict the future of a people based of some known starting point. He felt it was impossible, even twenty-plus thousand years into the future with all the made up innovations in his world.

So how can we, or perhaps I should say I, hope to find some theory to predict the outcome of certain events? I'll have to do some research, I suppose. Some research, and maybe a little experimentation in the form of suggesting my ideas to actual businesses and business people in the hopes of seeing those theories in action. For now, I just hope I can learn the science of research, which is exactly what Dr. Hunt might teach me. I am glad I took the advice of a great professor and read both these amazing writers.

-- Robert

Strengths

2009-02-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

When I started looking at research to decide what interested me, I came upon the subject of Positive Organizational Studies (POS). Building on the work coming from Positive Psychology, this area of research focused on looking at what good companies did well instead of diagnosing where poor or ailing companies were suffering (just as positive psychology focuses on wellness and strength instead of illness and weakness). I loved it, but in the end, I moved away from the subject simply because, as one professor, organizational behavior research often seems like too much "navel gazing" (meaning looking too much at minute details instead of the bigger picture). Still I find the mindset very invigorating.

This past week, I came across a book my mother-in-law had called StrengthsFinder 2.0. I knew it must have come from that school of positive psychology, and after reading it I saw that the author was a graduate of Michigan, which is one of the major players in that area of research. Since I love reading about self improvement and ways to help people accomplish it, I picked up a copy of that book as well as Strengths Based Leadership which focuses on using a strength set understand what sort of leadership style a person has. Each book comes with an access code to the StrengthsFinder 2.0 test, which takes about 35 minutes to answer before it gives the five strengths. My five were Maximizer, Individualization, Strategic, Context, and Futuristic. The leadership book breaks those into four areas: Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building, and Strategic Thinking. None of my five fell into Executing, Maximizer (my strongest) falls under influencing, Individualization falls under Relationship Building, and the rest fall under Strategic Thinking.

I loved that I wrote a post about potential days before taking the test, and so much of my result focused on my desire to maximize my own and others' potential. Maximizer itself focuses on maximizing strengths. I felt sure I would have other strengths, but the ones I thought fit me correlate very nicely into the five I have, especially when the five are put together.

If I had to boil the five strengths down into who I am, I would say it something like this: I like to help people improve themselves and their lot in life by getting to know them, seeing where they excel or have potential to do so, and encouraging them to focus in those areas. Basically, the goal of the book is very much the goal of my life, to help people focus on the positive and the good in themselves and make the most of it. Their research fits very well with my own experience: people find greater happiness and fulfillment when they work on improving strengths and doing what they love than if they focus on their weaknesses and getting rid of their problems. Focusing on strength often has a way of overshadowing or eradicating those very weaknesses. It might not make them go away, but it might help a person realize a better way to move past them.

One great piece of advice I got from a speaker about nine years ago was, "Sinatra never set up his piano." What he meant was that Frank Sinatra knew his talent - to sing and play music - and he only focused on those talents. If Sinatra had spent more time learning to get his piano ready, he might never have become Ole Blue Eyes to the world. As StrengthsFinder 2.0 states and I have seen, being well-rounded sounds great, but in the end, it is those who are truly exceptional at a particular skill or set of skills that we remember, and that we follow. People look up to and admire those who have maximized their talents much more so than those who have spent a lot of time becoming a jack-of-all-trades. Surgeons don't sterilize instruments and operating rooms (nor would we want them to) - they focus on knowing how to use those instruments in that operating room to remedy some internal problem.

Ours is a world of specialists, probably more so than ever before. I do believe in knowing a little about a lot of things, but I have learned more and more the value of knowing a lot about a few things. As I begin my career in research, I will hopefully become a master of my area. I might even become a name known for a given area of study. One thing is sure, though: I will never accomplish that feat if spend my time on too many different subjects instead of focusing.

-- Robert

Almost Home

2009-02-25T02:55:00.000-08:00

This afternoon or evening, we should get back to our little rental house, having been on a long odyssey. We've met wonderful people, gotten to know some better who I'd already met, and hopefully began some friendships. We each had our own highlights from this trip, of course, but all in all, it has been wonderful for the whole family. My wife loved seeing her folks, getting to know some new people, and seeing a new place she'd never been before. The kids loved seeing their grandparents, going to museums and parks, and the musical number played by one of the professors we visited.

That song was definitely one for me, especially since it was the same professor about whom I wrote not long ago. He is truly a gifted, amazing man. I look forward to getting to know him better. I think I will have a great chance to do that in the coming months and years, since I have unofficially accepted the unofficial offer as I await the official offer information next week some time. I know there are more schools to hear from, but I know in my heart I have found a place that can become our new home, at least for a time. I never dreamed I would have the opportunity they are offering me. The professors want to send me things to work on before I even get there so I can (quoting the professor) "get to where most students are after their first year before [I] start." I am still humbled to get such an offer. I know living up to his expectations and hopes for me will spur me to greater heights than simply working with just anyone might. I have had many wonderful mentors throughout my life that have helped me stay motivated to work hard because I respected them so much. It will be great to have the mentors and hopefully friends at this school.

I will write the name of the school on this blog when I get the official offer and accept it. I am just very excited to find out more about it and get to work. For now, I have about ten books to read along with several academic research papers. My future professor is sending me a book written by another future professor so I can learn and understand his mind better. He also suggested some great novels, and I thought I would at least give them a try, if for no other reason than to see what he enjoys. I've got three books I'm sending him that I know he will enjoy based on the collection of novels I saw on his bookshelf. On top of the novels, I'm reading StrengthFinder 2.0 and Strengths Based Leadership at the suggestion of my mother-in-law. They are short books with a large compendium of strengths in the back, or in the case of the Leadership book a compendium of how to lead from a perspective of a given strength and how to lead someone with that strength. It seems like something I could use in a future class, possibly. I love books that encourage people to get to know themselves better. Since both books come with an online code for a web-based test to help the reader find out his top five strengths, they really are a great resource for anyone who could use a little introspective examination.

I might list my top five, if anyone has any interest. For now, I need to rest up a bit more before driving the last leg of this journey.

-- Robert

Opportunity

2009-02-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

What better topic for this blog than opportunity? But what is opportunity? Perhaps more appropriately, how do opportunities happen? Researchers observe that they come in three main forms: recognition, discovery, or creation. I thought I would define those in simple terms for the fun of it.

Recognition: If a supply (i.e., a product or service) exists and there is a demand (i.e., a market, people want it) that has not been tapped into yet, then that is opportunity recognition. If someone starts a business to sell bread in a town where people already buy bread, then that might be a recoginition opportunity.

Discovery: If a supply exists that has not found a demand, or a demand is looking for something to satisfy it, then an opportunity might be discovered. An example might be a new cleaning product that replaces something most people already use, then the demand for the new cleaning product is not clear and needs to be discovered through attempts to sell it. Alternately, if people are looking for such a cleaning product but it does not exist, then the opportunity exists to create it to meet that demand.

Creation: If neither the supply of a product nor the demand for it is known, then a creation opportunity exists. One idea might be the first cell phone invented, or the personal computer when it first came on the market. The products did not exist, and no one knew whether anyone wanted them. Their designers created an entirely new market when they made the product and got people to buy it.

Entrepreneurs look for any or all of these opportunities. Like the definition from yesterday, whenever the market is not bringing a transaction into existence that should happen, entrepreneurship happens. People who are looking for the chance to make those things happen are therefore entrepreneurs by definition.

-- Robert

Potential

2009-02-23T06:00:00.001-08:00

Looking back at my life, at what first made me want to become a professor, and at what I want to do now that I am going to, I realize one word best describes what I see as my focus: potential. I want to help people, groups, and organizations find their fullest, best potential. The courses I first wanted to teach were about helping students see the value of service, but also in seeing the value of knowing what they wanted for themselves. Courses that help students consider their strengths, seeing what those strengths suggest they might pursue as a career, and then using their college courses as a means to get to that career as they build a skillset rather than pass a list of required courses.

That is what I want to do with my life and career. If I can find a way to research it and improve my teaching, so much the better. To me, finding the focus that comes from having a path has a way of energizing people, and afterwards their lives are so much more fulfilling as a result of that direction. To me, that is what my faith has always taught me as well. Finding our full potential is why we are all here. So here's hoping I can make this happen. I know the professors I plan to work with want to help me do just that. What more could I hope for?

-- Robert

Acceptance

2009-02-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I received my first unofficial acceptance letter, with the real offer to follow soon. I am excited to know at least one place - and in this case, one place I would love to go - wants me. I am looking forward to hearing the deal, but I am glad to know there is one. I would like to know what some of the other schools are thinking now, but one is enough.

-- Robert

Another Definition of Entrepreneurship

2009-02-19T09:00:00.000-08:00

In that conversation from Monday I mentioned, I heard one of the best definitions of entrepreneurship yet. The professor said, "When transactions that should occur are not occurring in the market, that is where entrepreneurship happens." What a perfect way to describe something. Often people see a need unserviced and think, "I can start a business and make money to serve that need." Some businesses (like the one I presently work in) are formed out of the need for middle men in a marketplace - brokers, as they are most often termed. Brokers facilitate the meeting of two sides of a transaction - a buyer and a seller of real estate, a truck needing a load and a shipper needing freight moved, or simply a consumer wanting a product and a producer needing a way to get it to them. Retailers are brokers in that way. They stock goods for producers so that consumers can purchase them. Most (if not all businesses) grew out of an observation that transactions were being missed, for lack of a better term.

One of the most enjoyable class discussions I've heard on this subject was with the man who created the Multi List Service (MLS) for realtors. He had a friend in real estate, and he noticed the box of listings that seemed extremely unwieldy when it became necessary to find a type of home in a given area. He asked his friend, "Do you think people would be interested in a catalog of those listings?" His friend knew they would be, and so MLS was born. He knew nothing about printing at all, nor was he much of a photographer (the idea was to take a picture of a home and put it in a book with its relevant information on location, size, and numbers of bedrooms and bathrooms). He had a friend who took the pictures for him, and he went to work learning how to run a printing press, mostly on a trial and error basis. When he was just about to sign a one-year contract with the realtors board in his area, they asked very casually in a meeting, "Can you make it in color?" He agreed, but in his own words, "If printing in black and white is like walking across this room, printing in color was like flying to the moon." Still, he learned how and he produced his catalog in color. One lesson he said he learned was to get a contract whenever possible. That gave him the chance to screw up a few times without losing the business altogether. Some years later, he sold MLS for an undisclosed sum (most likely tens of millions). He kept the amount unpublished so his children would never know how much he had and therefore they would not lose their drive to make something of themselves.

I am now reading an article by the professor who gave me that wonderful definition. I look forward to finding more of his work, and perhaps to getting the chance to work with him soon.

-- Robert

Personality Types

2009-02-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

Melissa had a post a few days ago about personality types. More specifically, she shared an interesting tool called the typealyzer which analyzes the writing on a blog and suggests what personality type the author might be. For me, it said I was an INTP - a thinker (also labelled a wizard by other sources). For anyone unfamiliar with Myers-Briggs, they create tests to help people determine things about themselves. The 16 personality types come from the combinations of the four areas which each have two possibilities:
1) Introvert / Extrovert
2) iNtuitive / Sensor
3) Thinker / Feeler
4) Perceiver / Judger

Each set of paired elements represents two different ways people deal with situations, people, data... life. I love these tests, and I find the characterizations of types are sometimes spot on for people, but anyone that scores close to the middle on one area might find himself somewhat poorly described. For example, almost every time I have taken a Myers-Briggs test (two officially, several simplified versions), I tend to score exactly equal (or within a point or two) on introvert and extrovert. As a result, the part of an introverted type that suggests a disconnection with people does not fit me very well. As I said to my wife, I don't look at people as something in my way - I am much more likely to treat a new person as a problem to solve or understand, just like any other part of life. Once I have understood a person, then I can deal with them more appropriately. That's perhaps where my extrovert side kicks in - I love to be in a group of people, sharing stories and anecdotes. Once I warm up, I have a lot of fun with people, and I rarely get so introverted that I get completely distant in a group setting. That's probably why I think the ENTP type fits me better - the Innovator. I find it even a little funny that I make this connection - the type description points out the tendency to see connections in almost anything - but I notice that ENTP would make a great abbreviation for entrepreneur and innovator would be a great description for one. So my personality type might well describe the very thing I hope to research for the rest of my life.

How do I explain the INTP side showing up on my blog? Simple: my writing here is very personal and focused on my interests. Of course it comes off like an introvert, especially since my recent posts are about career pursuits and research I'm reading. I leave a lot of the writing about my family to my wife. That's why her blog shows her extroversion more clearly. She writes about things outside of herself quite often. What type did it say she was? ESFP - the performer. That's definitely something that fits what she writes about, but in reading the ENTP personality type, she and I both agree, it describes her almost to a fault. In short, I don't assume that a test can tell me who I am, at least not entirely. It just might shed some light on my mindset as I approach life and help me consider if I am not considering how another person might see it differently. I know one thing: I look forward to teaching students about the importance of self awareness, which Myers-Briggs does a lot to strengthen.

-- Robert

Meaningful Conversation

2009-02-17T05:58:00.000-08:00

I started to write a long post about one of the most meaningful conversations I've had in my life. It truly is rare to recognize in the midst of a great exchange that it will resound for years to come. Yet I had such a conversation yesterday, and I hate to write about it and diminish it. It's almost too personal - and certainly too boastful because of what was said about me - to want to share it here. Just know I had a great campus visit.

-- Robert

First Impressions

2009-02-15T13:21:00.001-08:00

We rolled into town yesterday before it was dark, so we got to see the lay of the land a bit. It looks a lot like my wife's home region, minus the mountains. The campus has many beautiful buildings, and there certainly seem to be some nice things about it at first glance. Tomorrow I will see the inside of the business school and really get to see what I think about this potential future work place. We went to church with the student who helped me decide to apply here and saw a professor I had met at the Academy of Management Conference last year. We also checked out some homes and found the price/value to be quite favorable. We can get a lot for the money here, in other words. This town definitely shows promise.

-- Robert

Outbound, Hammer Down

2009-02-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

"Hammer Down" is an expression I hear in trucking. Hopefully it's intuitive. We are headed west today, going on our great odyssey. Needless to say, we are all excited for the trip. I cannot promise that I will be blogging at all on this trip, but if I find time, I will probably write my thoughts on my campus visit. It will be a fun trip, whatever happens. We love traveling together as a family. I am very grateful for the wife and kids I have.

-- Robert

Is Self Governing Important to Creating New Ideas?

2009-02-12T11:04:00.000-08:00

One of the articles I read this week discussed the role of autonomy in the entrepreneurial orientation construct. Yeah, I know, I lost my wife with that phrase, too. So let me break that set of terms down.

Autonomy basically means self governing. If someone has control over when he works, how he meets his responsibilities, or over what he does at all, then he has some measure of autonomy. Obviously, most self-employed individuals have a high degree of autonomy because they get to choose which customers they sell to, which vendors they buy from, what to charge, what forms of payment to accept, and many other things in the course of running a business. Employees tend to have less autonomy, but businesses with an entrepreneurial orientation might grant more of it. That is the essence of what this paper argues, that autonomy is a component in the entrepreneurial orientation construct. Construct is basically another word for theory or idea. It simply means the area of research focused on EO.

Now perhaps it makes more sense why I put yesterday's post before this one. Understanding the meaning of entrepreneurship in the broader sense that scholars study it helps explain what it means to have an "entrepreneurial orientation." To me, that term means to have an eye towards new opportunities or improvements in existing operations.

So why would autonomy be important to finding new ways to make money or to improving old ones? Think about it. If an employee only does his assigned tasks each day because he has no choice in the matter (for the record, I mean no choice if he wants to remain an employee - no need to point out that everyone has a choice), then what opportunity does he have to share new ways of doing his work? What chance does he have to suggest new products or services to the business? Some measure of autonomy must be granted to give that employee a chance to find new and better ways to do business. Various articles I have read (most of them citing the work of Jeff Covin and various co-authors) point out that businesses with an entrepreneurial orientation tend to outperform competitors. Why might that be true? Because they give employees a chance to share new ideas for doing business. In the mind of Dr. Lumpkin and his co-authors, that opportunity represents means that some measure of autonomy has been granted, and therefore autonomy should be evaluated as a component of the construct.

Anyone still reading? Good. (No, this isn't Sesame Street, I assume the only people still reading will actually read those words... seems logical to me). The movie Office Space actually did a great job of mocking employee/employer relations through the character played by Jennifer Anniston. She had to wear pins to show "flare" (or was it "flair" - both words might work here), but it was her choice what pins she got to wear. One might say she had autonomy in her choice of flare, but not in her choice to have flare. I realize this example is extremely simplified, but at least memories of the movie can give someone a laugh. No, don't go rent it yet. I'm almost finished.

I personally think that having some measure of control over one's own work is empowering. The way many companies describe it is to be an entrepreneur with corporate backers. By granting a measure of autonomy - giving people choices in their work - companies can engender a greater measure of interest in firm performance. Job satisfaction would probably also improve, since most people tend to enjoy the chance to choose what and how they accomplish their responsibilities. I also understand why the paper calls for more research on the role of autonomy. Obviously businesses can't simply tell all employees to do whatever they choose. Some measure of control must be maintained for the sake of order and efficiency. I can add this to my list of subjects that interest me as I prepare to head back to school.

-- Robert

Definitions of Entrepreneurship

2009-02-11T08:25:00.000-08:00

The article I am reading today (I might write about autonomy tomorrow) has several definitions of the word "entrepreneurship" in it. One such definition from Joseph Schumpeter states that "Entrepreneurship... consists in doing things that are not generally done in the ordinary course of business routine; it is essentially a phenomenon that comes under the wider aspect of leadership." I like that definition because I see a clear link between entrepreneurship and leadership, and I want to study those things in my own research in time. Without a leader driving an idea, it never comes to fruition as a venture, much less a profitable venture. That idea is nicely captured by Agarwal whose knowledge spillover theory of entrepreneurship states that "entrepreneurship is the result of opportunities created through knowledge investments made in one organization, but commercialized through innovative activity in a new venture." More simply put: great ideas require a driving force to become successful ventures. I use the term venture because corporations already in operation can start new product lines, new divisions, or other elements not in their present business model and thereby generate a new venture. That is what researchers call "corporate entrepreneurship."

I thought these ideas would be a great way to explain to people who keep asking me "So you want to research new businesses?" that entrepreneurship does not only mean "new businesses." It more broadly refers to newness, in my mind, newness driven by an individual or team with an interest in developing a new idea or reworking an old one into a profitable venture. In the context of this blog, "profitable" does not have to mean increased bank accounts. Many small business owners find greater personal fulfillment in their endeavors, which would be emotional or spiritual capital. Some do a lot to give back to the community through their business, which would be social capital (there is a branch of growing research called Social Entrepreneurship that studies this idea). More ability to manage one's schedule appeals to many entrepreneurs - especially stay at home moms with online businesses - which might be thought of as "time capital". Simply put, the reason to start something new does not only stem from a desire to be financially wealthy. Dave Ramsey actually points out, I believe accurately so, in his book Total Money Makeover that most people do not start a business to become wealthy. They just want to do something they enjoy doing, and often that turns into a profitable business (passion coupled with effort can have amazing results).

So, not to be too corny, but I believe I have managed to bring my current endeavor full circle and relate it all back to this blog. I am "making that money" by pursuing a dream. Fulfilling that dream will give me tremendous emotional capital that will make me a far richer man than I might otherwise be. Perhaps that even qualifies me to be an "educational" entrepreneur. Whether or not anyone else does, though, this article really helped me highlight my own thoughts on why this field of research fascinates me and draws my attention so much. I look forward to adding to it soon enough.

-- Robert

No More Tomorrows

2009-02-10T13:34:00.001-08:00

In corresponding with Tim Wade aboutour mutual plans to follow lifelong dreams, I wrote that there are no more tomorrows. I really mean to say there are no more "one of these days..." left after deciding to follow a dream. "These days" are here. The dream is on "sink or swim" status.

Few things are more thrilling. Few things are more terrifying. A leap of faith into a dark abyss without knowledge there is a place to land on the other side. That's how it can feel. After all, who wants to find out "No, you really don't belong in this profession." It's like training for the Olympics for years only to fail to make the team. But then there are those who make it. There are the Randy Pausch's of the world. They don't give up, and they live their dreams in every moment. They inspire the rest of us to think we can do it.

I hope this post has the positive ring to it I intend. I am very excited to be on the path I am right now. I can't wait to see where we go, and then where I go from there.

And I know already. Same song, ninety-fifth verse, this one's bad but so was the first.

One of these days I'll have something more to write about. Tomorrow I might share some thoughts on one of the academic articles I am reading right now to get my feet wet in the field of academic literature. I'm glad I'm able to read them in reasonable time and understand most of what is written there. Once I've had some courses in methodology, I should grasp even more.

-- Robert

Apology - A Good Sign

2009-02-09T11:02:00.001-08:00

Today I received an email from one of the schools I have heard from apologizing for their slowness. The letter explained the financial strain creating greater scrutiny on all expenses, which makes for a slower decision process. The rest of the letter, though, really meant a lot to me:

" I apologize for the slowness of the process. It does not represent any lack of interest on our part. As we discussed on the phone, we are extremely interested in you. Your background managing a small business, grades, test scores, the way you present yourself on the phone and the way you have gathered information on academic research make you a leading candidate in my view."

I appreciate such candor. I also have a feeling that other schools might have similar feelings, which gives me great hope for my future prospects. Next week should be very enlightening.

-- Robert

Tick Tock...

2009-02-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

A week from today, we will be on our way to Texas, by way of Louisiana. Waiting is the hardest part, it seems. All of us, kids included, are excited to be going. My wife says she's more excited to see her folks (which I can understand) while I'm more excited to see the campus we're touring (which might be somewhat true). Our daughter tells everyone she meets that we're going to see her grandparents, which makes me proud because it's my wife's parents who she only occasionally gets to see. She sees my parents all the time now, but in the future she might have similarly positive feelings for trips to (or from) my parents. Mostly I'm just glad she loves both sets even though she sees mine more.

I would write about other things, but my own little world seems to take up most of my thoughts. Between enjoying our new son (who is getting more alert by the moment but still remaining peaceful and quiet), planning for our trip, and waiting for other schools to contact me, my mind seems perpetually preoccupied. I find myself wanting to check email constantly. I also find myself thinking "Did I forget to do something?" a lot because of the preoccupation. I'm not exactly anxious, and I'm certainly not down by any means (I'm truly excited, quite frankly), but I am looking forward to knowing more soon.

Sorry for anyone still reading if this blog has become too much like "Henry VIII, I Am". I will try to bring my head up enough to notice other things again soon. I have plenty of thoughts on the craziness in Washington, but I see no point in commenting. Something is going to happen regardless of what I say or do at this point. We will all simply have to deal with whatever that "something" is. I do like the idea of encouraging home purchasing - for my own selfish interests. It seems somwhat providential to me that I might get such an incentive to become a home owner. We're checking into a lot of options in that area right now, but like everything else, we can't plan much until we know more.

And so it goes, same song, fifteenth verse, this one's bad but so was the first....

-- Robert

Four Weeks

2009-02-04T10:19:00.001-08:00

Today our son is four weeks old. It's amazing how quickly time flies by, and how much he has already changed. Still, he mainly spends his days eating, eliminating, and sleeping. It's just amazing to see how he continues to be a peaceful spirit, even when he's wide awake. Last night I held him for a while as he was awake, and he just looked around, rarely fussing at all, and that just to say 'Don't put me on your shoulder, I liked sitting up' or something like that. He's a beautiful person, I must say.

I'm also glad to see that his sister's adoration has not subsided (if anything it has grown), and his brother has grown to really love him. Our older son will say "Baby's cryin' " or "What's wrong, 'a'y 'other?" (baby brother). Both his siblings love to hold him, hug him, kiss him, touch him gently, or talk to him. Each child is special, and each child has a way of making us wonder, "How did we exist without you?"

Most of all, I'm glad we're making it so far. I am very proud of my wife and her energy as she continues to nurture all three kids and meet her other obligations. I married an amazing woman.

Though I See But Dimly Now...

2009-01-30T22:20:00.000-08:00

Tonight, as I drove home a car filled with sleeping children (and thankfully for her sake, a sleeping wife as well), I found my mind wandering as it so often does. At first I was on a fairly open, and for a while even well-lit highway. As I turned on to the dark country road surrounded by trees on either side, I started to think of how much the small path ahead mimicked our view right now. We can only see a short way ahead. We do not know what obstacles might lay in our path. We really only know what tomorrow might bring, or perhaps a week or two. We have no idea where we will be in that dark abyss beyond the headlights.

Then my mind turned again. I thought of a time, almost five years ago, when I was asked to go on a drive in the dark of night. The call came about 10:00 PM from our branch president. We were being asked to report to Navarre Beach, FL, where Hurricane Ivan had come ashore a few days prior. I immediately asked, "Are we sure it's safe? Are we even allowed to go there? I was told a bridge was out in that direction."

He calmly replied, as I am sure he had several times before that night, "They would not ask us to go if we weren't allowed or if it were unsafe."

My faith grew a great deal on that trip, and on the subsequent hurricane relief trips we took as a branch. The Lord would not ask us to go if it were not safe - for in my mind, the men asking us to go were doing so by his direction. And so, as I drove on tonight, I smiled at the thought I have had during the past few months over and over, as acquaintances have asked me questions like "What will you do if you aren't accepted?" or "How can you sell your house without knowing where you're going to be?" Then there have been the questions from professors, trying to understand why I would pursue a doctorate at this stage in my career - not because they doubt I could or should, but simply to know more of my intentions. With so many I have answered, and with others I very much wanted to, "The Lord would not ask us to go if he didn't want us to get there."

So now, safely back at home, having seen the whole path home only a little at a time, I imagine the living room in my future home. I will have followed the path a little at a time, having put my faith and trust in my Lord that I would make it there and beyond. I know - I KNOW - I will be there soon. For now, I am content to see but a little way ahead, for it is in these moments when my faith grows.

-- Robert

When They Start Talking About Real Estate...

2009-01-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

That's a pretty good sign.

What do I mean? Today my phone interviewer began by apologizing for not calling me first. His actual apology was, "My colleagues would be very upset with me if they found out I forgot to call you." He then explained that they were very interested in my application, so he didn't simply mean they would be annoyed at his general rudeness, but rather his rudeness to me in particular. I found that an excellent start to the conversation.

He asked me two simple questions: 1) why his school, and 2) what do I want to do after a Ph.D. I answered them to his satisfaction, and then the conversation turned even more casual. He asked if I had been to his town. I don't think I have and I told him so. He let me know that living in town near campus was very good if I had children to worry about in public schools, but outside of town the schools were not so great.

(see title of post, make connection)

We talked about questions I had about the program, and I definitely liked all he had to say. He gave me the good advice to get to know the faculty at every school where I am accepted before deciding where to go.

"It's not really like any other situation," he explained. "It's not really like a student/teacher relationship. We're accepting you into our world. It's more like making you a part of a family. If you don't think you will get along with the people at a place, then you shouldn't go there."

I have mentioned before on this blog how welcoming the academic community has felt to me thus far. What he said just furthered that feeling of acceptance and camaraderie that I have already connected with on a basic level. I also felt very excited by his general reaction. After all, most of the schools I have applied to are similarly excellent in their own rights. If his school is so excited to have me, hopefully all of them will be.

-- Robert

A Scheduled Visit And a Phone Interview

2009-01-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

I have now made plans to visit a second school (my first visit was back in the fall when I was just submitting my applications). My wife and I are very much looking forward to that trip (we enjoy traveling together) and to the prospect it might hold for our future.

Tomorrow, I have a phone interview. The school was among the earliest I considered, but as others attracted my interest, it went by the wayside on my radar screen for a while. Now, with the prospect of being accepted there becoming very real, I must say I am intrigued again.

Now my hope is to hear from at least two more in the two and a half weeks before my trip, so I will have more of an idea of where I stand with them as I am visiting this campus. I actually figured out a way to visit one, two, or three more schools on our trip with only an extra day of driving involved for one and two, and one more for the third. We could even stay with family on that trip in several locations, making it a somewhat reasonable trip to make in terms of cost. The problem would be coordinating it all, and the extreme length of the trip for the kids and my wife. It would be an awesome trip, though. We actually have a friend here who made just such a trip as he decided where to go to law school (he was accepted at all those he applied to). Ironically, in the end, he chose the one right where he lived, but he said they loved the trip as a little family (their oldest son was fairly new at the time, I think). We'll see what happens in the coming weeks, I imagine.

-- Robert

And the Hits Keep on Comin'...

2009-01-26T12:12:00.000-08:00

Today I got an email from another school asking me for a phone interview. Perhaps I will begin to hear from more and more of them as the deadlines pass in the coming weeks. It is very nice to read things like "I am writing because you have presented a very strong application for our program." Hopefully they all feel that way.

-- Robert

Daddy Daughter Date

2009-01-23T10:37:00.000-08:00

Today I got the privilege of picking my daughter up from school. My wife had taken our sons to a nearby town to do some shopping for the baby, so she needed me to go. I got her, and we went to lunch together, and I let her know it was our "Daddy daughter date". She enjoyed repeating that phrase throughout the meal, and it was really fun to see how many people still remark on her amazing ability to speak so clearly and with such a command of the language. Because she is small for her age, people assume she is younger, but also she has been this way from the beginning.

With a newborn, it can be easy to overlook the children already here. I am glad I've had the chance with my daughter and my first son to spend time with them individually to let them know they are still my children, still some of my favorite people in the whole world, and still important to me. In my older son's case, I spent time with him while our daughter was at school and the baby had just come home from the hospital. I plan to continue giving some individual time to each child as the years go by.

-- Robert

P.S. This post might have been longer and more poetic, but I started it as my daughter was happily drawing at my father's desk while we were waiting for my wife to get back. I managed to write "Today" and save it (I had work to do but wanted to remember the special moment) before she started throwing a fit because she was so tired. It was still great to spend time with her, but it was harder to write as much after handling the fit.

Invitation

2009-01-21T11:25:00.000-08:00

After my post yesterday, this email almost feels like an answer to an unspoken prayer. I got an email inviting me to visit one of the schools. In fact, it was from the school that hasn't actually closed their application process yet, which I take as a strong indication that they want to accept me. The actual phrase used was "like to invite you to spend a day with us to consider being a... PhD student" (I omitted the name of the school only).

I almost feel like a kid at camp who just got a letter from home. I would really love to go to the school, so this trip might well be to our future home. Maybe we'll know by the time we make it (we have to wait until the baby is six weeks old). It falls right in line with our plan with each child: long road trip early in life to instill "road readiness". We have done that with our daughter and with our first son, and they are very good travelers. We love taking trips as a family, in fact. If other schools invite me, then we might have to arrange to see some of those as well. For now, though, this trip will work out nicely because we were already planning to go see my wife's parents in a few weeks.

-- Robert

Taxes

2009-01-20T19:10:00.000-08:00

What is it about doing taxes and thinking about last year? Every time I prepare my tax returns, I find myself thinking "Was it really just last year that I..." or "Wow, last year we sure spent a lot on...."

It's also a time to plan ahead. If I got a sizable refund for a certain year, then I know I overpaid taxes (No, I do not think of it as a tremendous gift from Uncle Sam, despite what he might wish). So I consider ways to reduce my taxes paid to avoid such refunds in the future. All in all, it's almost like having a New Years Eve reflection and a New Years Day Resolution - only in dollars and cents.

This post probably has no deeper meaning. I just find myself doing my taxes and thinking about the recent past and the oncoming future. At least I know I won't be paying so much in taxes for a while. That's one benefit of living on a graduate school stipend, and of having three beautiful children.

On a somewhat related note, someone (okay, it was my accountant) asked me today if I got in. He wasn't negative about it, but he was probably the first person who seemed to really suggest that I ought to wonder IF I will get in. I made my case to him, explaining the reasons why I felt sure that at least one school would accept me. I didn't list "I feel called from God to do this" among my reasons (perhaps I should have), but I explained why schools might find me a good choice. I'm not down about it, but it did give me a momentary pause. A "what if" moment. But it passed. I cannot let doubt stand in my way. I know I will get in somewhere, if not multiple places. Then I can quit doubting acceptance and start doubting what exactly I am getting myself in to (just kidding, mostly). I am looking forward to knowing where I can go.

-- Robert

Going for a Walk

2009-01-19T10:37:00.001-08:00

Whenever I have gotten out of the habit of taking walks, I have quickly forgotten one of the main benefits. Sure, the exercise is good for me, but one of the best parts of a long walk can be the time to simply let my mind roam. When my wife and I walk together, we have great conversations about many topics. Sometimes we end up telling the kids stories so they will fall asleep in the stroller. But on walks by myself, I find at least as much enjoyment from the chance to let my mind run its own proverbial laps.

I've never noticed that building before... oh, this route is definitely the easier one... this certainly is a quiet neighborhood... what will it be like when I get back to school... what will our new home be like... where will my children be going to school.... where will I be going to school.....

And so on. I have had some of my best ideas in life while taking a long walk. I have also noticed a lot more of the world around me - much like my professor once told me, "The world you see is the same size, it's the amount of detail in which you see it that is different." It took me a moment to grasp his meaning, but it has fascinated me for more than a dozen years since (how many professors can anyone say that about?).

I know this much: I am looking forward to some long walks around the campus of whatever college accepts me. The thought alone invigorates me.

-- Robert

Six Years, A Thousand Memories Ago

2009-01-15T10:56:00.000-08:00

Six years ago this weekend, I stood on a precipice of sorts. I was looking forward to amazing new possibilities for me in the future, but I was also facing a great fear. I had high hopes that a business plan I was working on was going to turn into a lucrative opportunity for my planning partner and for myself. I was afraid I was going to lose a relationship with one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

So I got on a plane. I flew to Salt Lake, where I could investigate the future of both concerns. There was a similar business to the one we hoped to start that happened to be in a Salt Lake suburb. In fact, our research had only uncovered that one business at the time, so it was the only place I could hope to check out. At the same time, my dear friend was headed back to college in Idaho, and I knew she would be passing through the area. We had, after all, arranged to meet that Saturday night. I had asked her to bring me something. We had discussed it, argued about it, and probably cried over it - so I decided it was time to settle it.

That Friday, I checked out the business. In two hours, I made one basic note, "If this is our business model, we had better be looking for jobs soon." When the business had to begin operations for the day because I showed up, I took that as a bad sign (it was a movie theater, and I apparently woke the manager from his nap when I asked for a ticket). I knew further investigation would be a waste, so I checked on how early my friend would reach the area the next day. I believe we met in the morning, but that detail has faded somewhat from memory.

I remember never wanting the day to end. We met in downtown Salt Lake and walked over to Temple Square. There we met up with another couple. None of us were technically dating within the group. We just each had some inclinations to do so. We toured the Visitor's Center, walked around the temple, and then toured the Conference Center. The peace in that place was palpable even to me, even then. I remarked at the time, "God is in this place." My group was kind enough to deflect the missionaries questions as to which of us were not members. They wanted me to appreciate my experience without feeling bothered or pressured. Without a doubt, it still stands as one of the best days of my life.

After the square, we all walked over to a mall to meet up with other friends. A mutual friend was due to be married in a few weeks, and she was in town to look at some wedding-related items. Make that the third couple to join the group. The engaged couple broke off again, though, and we all returned to Temple Square. I had parked at the mall there, and my friend needed to get on the road. After all, she had a date that night with some lucky fellow.

Neither of us wanted to leave. Well, I didn't want her to go. But a promise was a promise, and I didn't expect her to break her date for me. So, instead, we found ourselves standing at our cars, wondering when (and perhaps if) we would ever meet again. Our first meeting had been just under a year before, and we had enjoyed this one even more than that. Still, so many things seemed to stand in our way, so we simply couldn't be together. One of the biggest obstacles was in her hand.

"I hope you don't hate me for giving you this," I remember her telling me. I found it an odd remark, since I had asked her to bring it. I promised to look at it that night. We embraced for a long moment - both too short and too long. Then we separated. The day was just a little darker for the parting.

Now we look at it together. We discuss it. We show it to our children. We give it to friends who show an interest (and probably some who have no interest). Most of all, though, we share it between us, no longer an obstacle but instead a cherished bond.

Six years. One thousand, two hundred, and ninety days. A world away from where we were. And back on another precipice, looking on an uncertain future. At least this time none of that uncertainty comes from our relationship. Sure, we might wonder how we can afford this or that, or where we will be in six months and again in five years, but we know whatever happens, we'll be together, come what may. That alone makes the view spectacular. After all, I can see my wife and three beautiful children in it, and what could ever be more beautiful than that?

-- Robert

Just When I Thought We Were Done Here...

2009-01-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

Tonight, mostly so we could get out of the house, we decided to drive to a nearby town to look for something we were interested in, to get some good Japanese takeout, and to let the kids play in Chick-fil-A's playplace. As we settled in to our table near the glass window, we struck up a conversation with the couple next to us. The wife was clearly close to the end of a pregnancy, and so she noticed the baby with some great interest. We also noticed their son was about our older son's age and started comparing notes on parenting.

After we had talked for a while about giving birth and post-birth experiences, the husband asked me, "So are you from the midwest?" I laughed, since he was only the second person to guess that. I told him I was from Atlanta and he remarked, "Yeah, I guess Atlantans don't really have an accent. But you both sound you're from the midwest."

My wife explained where she was from, which brought the natural question everyone asked, "So did you meet at UGA?" We got perhaps the thousandth opportunity to share our experience of meeting each other (amazing to think that was now seven years ago), why we hit it off, how we courted (in our own peculiar way), and how we ended up where we are. Each time I felt sure I was boring the husband with it, he would ask another question showing he was paying attention, and possibly even interested.

We found out they were graduates from FSU's music school, so they had something in common with my wife (much of her schooling was spent in schools of music). We also found out that he was in urban planning because we mentioned our meeting in Salt Lake (he was fascinated by their transit system). He was also a graduate from a masters program, like me. He even took a lot of interest in my pursuit of a doctorate.

The most notable interest was how dejected they became when we did mention our plans to move. I picked up on it the moment I mentioned it (No, I don't go around telling random strangers, "Yeah, I'm getting a doctorate." It came up in conversation, I swear). Then the wife explained that her two best friends in the area were from Kansas and Virginia - and they had both moved home. About that time, the husband even said, "This is the nicest conversation I've had since we moved up here." I asked if they were new in town and they said, "Not really. We moved here three years ago."

Wow, did we know how they felt. We spent several years feeling fairly lonely as a couple, and have only made some great friends over the past year or two. And now we meet this great couple (our wives exchanged cell numbers) just as we're getting ready to leave. Still, a friendship might well have formed this night, and I don't plan to write them off simply because we're leaving. It was a great night, and a completely random event, so it almost made it that much neater. My wife and I even joked on our way home that we might have met our "replacements" for our friends we're leaving behind. They certainly seemed like they would get along well with at least one couple we know, probably two. That would be a great legacy to leave - pairing up some friends just as we depart.

Time will tell. For now, it's just a nice evening to talk about.

-- Robert

I Heard From a School!

2009-01-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

They got my whole application! Yes, I know, it's somewhat tragic how excited it made me simply to have my application acknowledged, but still, knowing that it was complete and having an idea of when their review will begin really helps me pass the time.

I have heard from other schools that immediately ackowledged receipt of my personal materials for the application, but I have not heard from others that have let me know they had everything. I know at least one other two others do and feel certain three others beyond that do.

In checking up over the weekend, though, I discovered that my various transcript requests were all insufficiently sent to the last school. It was lowest on my list, but it still annoys me that such a thing as paperwork would hold up any application. The deficiency: the various schools only sent one copy of the transcript to one department instead of one to two different departments, per my request and that schools requirements. So I guess that's one place I won't be going.

Just a few more months and we'll actually know something about where I might get to go!

-- Robert

P.S. I realize I sound pathetically excited over a minor bit of email, but at least it's news, right?

Right?

Perhaps Another Viewpoint Would Be More Enlightening

2009-01-11T18:44:00.001-08:00

I was looking at Mormanity (thanks for the hat tips, Jeff) and noticed a link to this post comparing Christ from the Book of Mormon to the Christ of the Bible. It was a nice read, but then I noticed another post in the comments section that blew me away: A Baptist Minister believes the Book of Mormon. He pointedly states that he is not leaving the Baptist Church, and I will warn anyone reading it that the verses he quotes come from the Book of Mormon as published by the RLDS Church in 1908 (not the LDS version of the Book of Mormon) that I read from. Still, those verses I read are quite consistent with ours and the amazing thing to take away from it is that a Baptist Minister can see the "plain and precious truths" contained within the Book of Mormon. How wonderful. It's quite a read: The Baptist Version of the Book of Mormon.

-- Robert

Great Moments in Bringing a Newborn Home...

2009-01-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

The first time everyone in the house is asleep simultaneously is just an amazing moment. The first time everyone gets to take a nap together is almost more amazing. After all, we have a newborn, a two-yeard old, a four-year old, a Mom (age 26), and a Dad (age 31). Getting everyone to sleep at the same time... winning at powerball seems to have better odds at times.

Yet here we all are, that is, once I nod off. We're doing well at home, though, for those wondering. Our daughter adored the baby well before he was born and still does, and our son has really warmed up to him. He's even learning to say " 'at's my 'aby 'other" - that's my baby brother. We're still working with initial sounds on syllables. It's beautiful, nonetheless. As is our new little boy. Like I asked my wife as I just held him in the hospital, "How much bigger can your heart grow?" She said, "Three sizes, like the Grinch."

Hopefully mine didn't start out that way, though. Off to sleep.

-- Robert

King Benjamin

2009-01-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

As I watched another series of Brant Gardner videos (1, 2, 3 4, and 5), I came upon this wonderful story about King Benjamin (which starts towards the end of three and finishes at the start of four). King Benjamin, at the end of his rule, gave a very important speech to his people that many Latter-day Saints know and love.

Before giving his speech, he has a tower constructed from which he can be heard by more people. He then proceeds to tell them things he is not and which has not done. He is not more than a mortal man. He has not required the people to pay tribute to him as king. He has not asked them to sacrifice people unto him. Then he explains to them that he is abdicating the throne, and that his son will take over, but they will not be his son's people. They will be Christ's people.

The Mesoamerican setting lends a great deal of explanation to this story, as Brant Gardner explains. The reason to point out he was mortal was because most kings in that area at that time were being treated as though they were gods on the Earth. There were also people who impersonated gods for a time. He set himself apart from that way of being. He likewise pointed out the things he had not required of his people because those other things did require tribute and sacrifices. And he wanted his people to be one people because they had previously been two groups brought together by circumstance but now formed into one nation.

Gardner then goes on to explain why King Benjamin had his tower built but Mosiah did not require one years later when he spoke to even more people (when he told them there would be no more kings). He speculates that it was because a temple had been built there in the meantime (perhaps it was under construction at the time Benjamin spoke). Does that make sense based on any evidence?

In the place where John Sorenson, the noted LDS scholar of Mesoamerican archaeology, places Zarahemla (the city where King Benjamin gave his great speech) which has been called Santa Rosa, a non-LDS archaeologist found a temple. At the bottom of the temple, he found a plaster floor, which seemed peculiar since most temples from that time period were simply filled with pottery and other things to fill them in. He had the floor dug up and found that beneath the floor were two varieties of stones: one group was smooth river stones and the other was sharp edged gravel. The two groups were completely separated so that no mixing of the stones occurred. The archaeologist speculated at that time that he believed two groups had made the floor by putting the stones down to symbolize their separate groups and then plastering it over to make show they had become one nation - just as King Benjamin was asking them to. So perhaps the people built the temple after King Benjamin's speech to signify what he was calling upon them to do.

What a fascinating way to take the Mesoamerican culture of the day - with divine kings abounding who demanded taxes and blood sacrifice contrasted against King Benjamin's people looking toward Christ instead - and shed a new light on an already beautiful passage of scripture. I do like how Brant Gardner concludes his remarks (on video five) by pointing out something very peculiar for a scholar to point out. He acknowledges that no scholar will ever prove the Book of Mormon is true. It simply is, and the Holy Spirit testifies of that truth to those willing to listen. Scholars can only hope to give us more appreciation of something we already know is true by helping us understand the motivations of the people and the setting in which they lived, thereby helping us see more of who they really were and appreciate all they did. I know that nothing I ever do will prove to anyone else that the Book of Mormon is true, but I certainly enjoy learning more about this beautiful book full of so much wonderful counsel for living life. I enjoy sharing what I learn with those I come in contact with. The only way anyone can know the Book of Mormon is true is to pray about it and receive an answer from the Spirit, like I did.

-- Robert