Wonderful Words

Today my wife and kids came back to town from a long weekend trip. We met some of my classmates for dinner and then I took the kids home from there while my wife went off to a meeting. I got them laughing so hard over something so nonsensical that I don't even remember what it was. Then, after the older kids were out of the car and I went to get my youngest out of his car seat, my daughter said "Dad, I'm glad Mom married you, 'cause you make me laugh!"

Truly, I am a lucky man.

-- Robert

Seven Years

People who know me know I love the number seven. There are three of them in my birthday, it's the perfect number, the number of God... lots of reasons to like seven. So here, on my seventh anniversary, I must acknowledge how truly blessed I feel to be married to the woman of my dreams. Lately I've had a lot of reminders of how much I need to cherish her and appreciate the joy she has brought into my life. I've had to reinvest myself in this program, but I knew I had her full support in doing it, even as hard as this year has been on us all. I know I haven't done enough to be available. As part of my recommitment to my program, though, I arranged my schedule - every half hour of every day is accounted for on my weekly calendar. By breaking it down so tightly, though, I can focus my mind and my energy in each period to accomplish the one thing I've got planned in that period. Twenty-four hours of my schedule (one seventh) is set aside for family time (not even counting most of the time on Sunday being spent on Sunday, only about three of those come out of Sunday). During my family time, I am with the family - not thinking about what school work is not being done. No, I will be a Dad and a husband only. Part of that twenty-four hours is even set aside specifically as time for my wife. It is not really giving much to say "Honey, this small portion of my week is entirely devoted to you." I realize how miniscule that sounds. Still, it is what I can give - it is what I know she needs, time with me and only me. Quality will reign over quantity, hopefully.

So to my wonderful wife, thank you for seven years. May it only be the beginning of an eternity of joy together.

-- Robert

Wiping out the cobwebs...

Yes, I know this blog effectively died this year. I was proud I kept it up in the fall, but the last semester was crazy for a lot of reasons. I hope I never have night classes again. I had two classes at night with a morning class in between them... and it just wreaked havoc on our home life. So much in our lives was difficult and crazy this semester, really. I don't... can't even begin to describe it all. My one summer course is in my area of interest, and so far it's quite manageable, but I start teaching in another week just as it begins to ramp up, so time will tell how that works out. My wife and kids have been out of town for a couple of weeks and have another week before they return. I've missed them all terribly, and had reason to reevaluate priorities while they've been away. I still plan to stay in school, but I have got to organize my time more effectively to get things accomplished in less time so I can be home when I'm home. I doubt many more entries will go up on this blog, but I have to overcome so writer's block, so this outlet is helping me to just let my thoughts start flowing. Now on to the several research papers demanding my attention...

-- Robert

A New Semester

My blog is on life support, but it's still nice to get some thoughts down when I find time. This semester has started well, with a paper completed before a deadline and classes starting in a fairly calm, easy fashion. We have three new doctoral students, each of whom brings something unique and interesting to our group. I am excited to have this entire group while I'm in the program. We have a dozen students and will for at least another year (with more possibly coming in the fall). I feel good about what I can possibly accomplish this term.

I appreciate all of the people asking me about school. I wish I could describe last semester well, but I really can't. It was great, incredibly challenging, and I enjoyed seeing what I could manage. I was especially proud of myself not giving up on the paper I just turned in, but instead finished it. I now want to get more things into my pipeline. I'll feel even better if that paper gets accepted for Academy. For now, time marches on... or more accurately, races on...

-- Robert

My Multi-Talented Wife

I married an amazing woman. She has musical talent in spades - plays violin, piano, and various percussion instruments. She's a natural cheerleader - she loves to encourage others in whatever they are pursuing. She takes beautiful photos - we decorate our home with her pictures. I love to read her writing. She's a wonderful mother, of course. But finally she's pursuing one of her true passions: she's applying to law school. I'm really happy for her, and definitely proud she's doing it. Good for you, sweetheart!

-- Robert

And Now for Something Completely Different...

I must have heard at least three academics try to pull off that line in the past few months. One of them might have managed, but most managed to change it enough to mess it up. In any event, now that classes are over, I still have plenty of work to do over the break. I need to create a word list, get it boiled down to one agreed upon by "experts" regarding the topic I'm writing about, and use it to analyze a bunch of text samples. And that's just to get started on a paper. I also have a theory paper (or two) to edit by January 15 to submit to conference in time. Then there's another project whose deadline I am not completely clear on, but I need to learn to use another program to analyze text. And if I'm interested (which I am), I can join yet another project analyzing business school mission statements with the first textual analysis program.

And break is how long? There are only twenty or so days left? I best get a move on. At least I got over my illness of the last two days. I'm glad my semester ended well, and I look forward to getting a lot done between terms. Next semester will be pretty different, but I'm interested to see how well I learn the subjects (organizational theory, research methods II, and statistics). I'm also excited to continue working with my classmates, which might include as many as three new members next term. We just rearranged our desks to allow a fifth person to come in, and the office at the other end of the hall will take in two more people to make four. It'll be awfully cozy.

That's as much of an update as I can manage. We're getting some last minute Christmas preparation done around here. Merry Christmas everyone, in case I don't manage to write again.

-- Robert

Done With First Semester Classes

It's still hard to believe, but I have completed the first semester of my program. It has been a wonderful experience, both from a learning standpoint and from the way our group has come together. The Ph.D. students, both my cohort and those who were here before, have become good friends to me (and to each other), and some of us even joke that we're like siblings. I could not ask for a better group to be working with for four years than the people I have here right now. We have several applicants who may be starting in the Spring semester, and we just rearranged our office a little to accomodate one of those people. We would rather have the new peope on the same floor than force anyone to go to the basement. Our group is even having dinner together tonight before we all spread to the four winds over the break.

Now that classes are done, I still have work to do. After all, the classes are to build our knowledge, but our research is what gets us jobs when we're done. I may be involved with threee or four projects over the break, though most likely I'm only looking at running data analysis on one project while helping edit a paper for conference submission. The other two projects are either very preliminary from what I understand, or they're ramping up to get to publication stage and I'm going to be brought in for some of the data analysis. It's exciting to have so many things going on all at once. Hopefully I can get some things finished over the break before jumping into three more classes. One class is somewhat of a continuation of this semester, as we'll be turning our proposed project into an empirical paper. Another is organizational theory, which is one of the more mature fields of management. The last class will be our first statistical methods course, which can be quite intense by all accounts. It's hard to think that these new courses will be any easier than this semester, but time will tell.

I appreciate the various requests from friends to update this blog. I know it's been very neglected these last few months. It probably wil be again.

-- Robert

Closing Quickly on the End of First Semester

And yet... there's so much left to do. I won't even list it all. Somehow I feel sure I can accomplish it, but this next week will be a real test, I think. Still, I am learning a lot all the time, and I am amazed at how much I'm able to read and comprehend from these articles and books in a short time when previously I got less from longer reads.

It is possible that by the end of the first year, I could have two articles headed into the publication mill - not that it means they'll ever get published. It would be nice if one did, at least, and I'd love it if both did. The ideas I'm considering could possibly lead to more articles on each "stream" in which they'd fit.

We're also already looking at what we're taking next semester and this summer. Everyone in the first year group is taking a statistics class, organizational theory, and research methods 2, along with our colloquium meeting (where everyone in the program who hasn't passed comprehensive exams comes together to discuss something). Then in the summer I'll most likely be teaching the entrepreneurship 1 course (unless I swap with my classmate who is set to teach family business), possibly taking a two week course on analysis using something called HLM, and definitely taking an entrepreneurship seminar that will go into the fall (if they get that course set up). I'm also most likely taking a qualitative methods course, though I'd rather take it the following summer, if possible (( think I'd get more out of it).

And while I'm at it, I might as well mention my fall courses: strategy, philosophy of science, and another statistics course most likely (plus, again, colloquium). I'll probably be teaching family business that term, unless I stay teaching the entrepreneurship 1 class. My goal is to teach each of those (family business mostly for the experience of teaching such a class), plus an innovation/change management course, and possibly something like leadership or another entrepreneurship course. My spring of 2011 will involve taking organizational behavior, but I'm not certain what else just at the moment. Probably another statistics class, and maybe a modeling course, but that's so far away there's not much need to nail it down perfectly right now. Then, if I can swing it, I'll take qualitative methods that summer, but if not, I'll have to figure out something to take right before I might be taking my comprehensive exams.

Somehow, charting out what is ahead has always helped me, so maybe it is good to have that written down. For now, though, I need to keep my nose to the grindstone and get this semester's work done. I'm really fortunate to be working with such great classmates and professors. Each of them brings something to the table that has helped me in some way. I am excited and hopeful that we might bring in another new person in the spring, and hopefully bring in another great group next fall. If anyone out there is looking to start a doctoral program right away, Texas Tech is a great place to consider.

-- Robert

An Ocean of Knowledge

I have probably told half a dozen people my analogy for how I feel at this point in a doctoral program: I am drowning in an ocean of knowledge, and I don't have gills. It's not that I am trying to get my head above the "water" - I am actually trying to learn to breath it. That's the best way I can come up with to describe it.

And yet, here I am, not dead, with nearly a month in the program. I have had a whole range of feelings about myself in this process, but I have mostly decided to push forward as far as I can on everything I can manage and accept that everything is adding to my progress. I feel sure I will disappoint someone - a professor, a classmate, myself, my wife, my children - almost weekly, and possibly all of those in the course of this semester. Yet I believe in the process enough to have hope that on the other side of each obstacle a new perspective can be achieved.

I have read more in the last month than I did in all of my undergraduate and MBA classes combinedm, I am almost certain. If not by now, it won't take more than a week or two more to pass that mark.

And maybe, just maybe, I have started to learn to take it in without drowning. I feel like I took my first breath this past week. I am also glad that my classmates and I are doing what we can to help each other to leverage our efforts and work smarter instead of harder. A human being can only work ninety hours a week reading material for so long before it becomes abundantly clear that simply having viewed a page once is not really worth the effort expended. I cannot express how utterly grateful I am to be working alongside such brilliant students and faculty. I have no real way to know what I might have experienced elsewhere, but this group is just what the doctor(ate) ordered for me. I will owe them all a huge debt of gratitude when I am done. I hope somewhere along the way I can be of similar service to some of them.

And before I conclude this post, I have to again thank my wife for even being here. She is suffering the brunt of everything I am going through, and she's holding up better than I could ask anyone to. Her love and support, her understanding... it's beyond comprehension that she is sticking by me. I love her, and don't know if I could do this work without her. I don't think buying her the sports car of her dreams when I get my first chair will cover it - but maybe I'll find some way to show her how much she means to me. I just wish they could print the diploma with both of our names on it, because she'll certainly have earned her part of it.

Well, it is time to dive back in, or to sleep now so I can do so in the morning.

-- Robert

Eating the Elephant

After one week in a doctoral program, the metaphor definitely fits: the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. If I look at all I have to do all at once, I could easily be overwhelmed. Instead I have to take each article, each book chapter, and each assignment and work through it. At this point, I am enjoying the "flavor" of what I am consuming. Truly, my mind is more engaged than it has been in a long time - if not ever. I am extremely grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful people, both among the students and the faculty. So far I have felt very supported by the rest of my cohort and find the free flow of advice and information among us all to be wonderful. I could not have designed a better program for myself.

-- Robert

Oriented And Focused

This week, my cohort had our orientation. There are five of us, four men and one woman. Two of us are married. One is Chinese and the rest are Americans. I am the oldest, then it goes 30, 29, 26, and 23 years of age. One of us comes from a psychology background, one from sociology, and the rest have business degrees. In all, I am impressed by the group I have the privilege of studying with, and I look forward to getting to know each of them better over time. I know their strong work ethics and keen intellects will encourage my best efforts. I couldn't ask for a better cohort.

The orientation itself made it clear from the beginning what our goal will be in this program: in fourteen years we should each be full professors and chairs (not department chairs, but endowed chairs). That achievement is completely possible, and it is good to hear our professors have set the bar high from the beginning. We had a great discussion that laid out what the program we will go through is designed to teach us (how to research) and where our focus needs to be (on topics that excite us). The classes are important for teaching us methodology and familiarizing us with the literature out there, but research takes precedence. I especially liked that our coordinating professor made it clear that he doesn't like the distinction between teaching and research: everything we do should be focused on teaching. Classroom teaching is focused on our students but research is focused on teaching (and learning from) our colleagues in the "guild" of researchers.

Classes begin next week. We will be taking an organizational economics class that will show us a lot of topics so we can begin to find subjects we might enjoy working on. We will be taking a class on research methods to help us understand the process of academic research. We will take a class from the professor who teaches instructors how to teach better. Last of all, but perhaps most important, we will have a colloquim where we discuss what skills we need to build during our time here and how to build them by looking at best practices and award winning materials. By the end of the term we should be well on our way to having our first two research papers begun. We will also have quite a few research proposals written for potential future projects.

In short, I am very excited to have begun. I've read over a hundred pages in academic articles this week, and I have plenty more to read both for class and because of suggestions by professors. I feel confident that I can handle myself so far, and I look forward to finding out.

-- Robert

I Passed!

I passed both my tests, despite the peculiar questions on both. I did really well on linear algebra "for having never taken the class" (my wife said that). The calculus was not as great, but getting it over with was all I wanted at this point. Now I have several reading assignments for one class and the textbooks purchased (except one) for two classes. I even know the rest of my schedule, which is a nice step forward. Wednesday is my orientation, then school starts Thursday, though two of my classes don't actually meet for the first time until September. We'll see how it all plays out.

-- Robert

If Yesterday Threw Curves...

Today was knuckleballs. It was never clear where the next one was going. There was a multivariate derivative (that is, f(x,y), find f ' (x,y)/dy) and half a dozen limits. Out of all the tests I practiced, there might have been two limit questions total, and then it was half the test this time? Definitely peculiar. Here's hoping I passed it. I feel confident I passed yesterday, but after today I'm wondering if I showed enough work on either. Here's hoping.

-- Robert

One Down, One to Go

I took my linear algebra test, and I feel confident I did well enough to pass it. I don't think I got a perfect score, but I think I answered every question with enough right on my answer to get at least partial credit, and I suspect full credit on the vast majority of them. Tomorrow I take the calculus test, which hopefully won't throw the curves that this test did. Still, I feel pretty good that I can manage it: each time I practiced either test, I took less than an hour and there are three hours alotted for each. I took about thirty-five minutes (even taking my time) on the test today. Many thanks go to my brother-in-law who spent hours helping me practice and learn. I also have to thank my wife for her consideration in those hours of practice and study (and for having such a brilliant brother).

Next week is orientation and then classes begin. My daughter also starts kindergarten. I am excited to see what new patterns form in our lives. I'm also excited for what classes and work will bring. Who knows when I'll next be able to write a blog post. Thanks for anyone still reading. I appreciate the interest.

-- Robert

Relaxation

This is my last week without school. Possibly ever. Technically last week was, I guess, since I chose to study this week, but I've mostly relaxed and focused on getting the house in order. My wife and I have built five bookshelves now in the last two weeks. Yesterday we spent about six hours building a swingset for our daughter's birthday. So what am I doing right now? I am sitting in my back yard in my folding chair listening to this great jam on YouTube writing this post while monitoring the steaks on the grill and watching the kids on their new swingset. These days are special. We even got to swim today. I'm not sure if there will be many days like this in the future. I'm glad to have had this one.

-- Robert

Happy Birthday, Old Man

For the record, I started calling my father "Old Man" as a term of endearment at least a decade ago. He knows it is not a disparagement - he told me when he turned 51 to tell my friends my parents were a hundred years old (my mom was 49). He wears his age as a badge of honor, so this post is not a knock on my father.

I hope you have had a wonderful birthday, Dad. You deserve it. You have stood by me through decision after decision that you did not fully agree with our appreciate. You have respected me enough to be a man and make my own way. For that, I am eternally grateful. I know you struggled with your own father when you chose a life other than what he had in mind for you, so perhaps you understood it was not easy for me to decide to leave the business world to become an academic. You have taught me so much that I hope to bring to my classrooms and perhaps even my writings: the value of keeping one's name clean, the price of doing what is right, the grounding that faith brings, and the importance of learning from failure. Most of all, though, you taught me the importance of loving your family more than your hobbies, and the importance of doing quality work. Hopefully one day my career will honor your name. I know you have sacrificed a lot for sis and me to have the wonderful opportunities we have enjoyed throughout our lives. With great opportunity comes great responsibility, though, and I have a responsibility to be the best I can. This tribute to you has turned into being mostly about me, but that's how you always seem to want things (no attention on you). So this year, instead of a gift you don't want, I'm writing this post.

I love you, Old Man.

-- Robert

Good People

Today I went to see a student defend his dissertation. If he succeeded, he walked out a Ph.D. It was fascinating to observe, and it gave me hope that I could get to that point some day in the not-so-distant future. I also got to see the students that are just ahead of me in the program (started last year) that I met at interviews. Each of them said hello, remembered my name, and even said they were glad to see me. Sure those were just respectful gestures, but they took it further to show how genuine they were. They offered for me to email with any questions I had, one made sure I actually knew her address, and another took me to another floor to ask questions to the appropriate office for a question I had.

The professors, too, were nice to stop and talk to me - the one who hopefully will be my mentor even had me up to his office for a few minutes and let me look at some of his work when I asked. I wanted to talk to another but he clearly was busy. Still, he let me stop him in the hall for a moment.

Simply put, I am looking forward to working with some good people.

-- Robert

August Is Here...

In August, we/I need to:

• register our daughter for school


• get her started in school


• get me registered for school


• get me a parking pass


• get me on school insurance


• take the tests to exempt calculus and linear algebra


• start school

That's the short list of big items to accomplish. There's still the day to day - cooking, cleaning, yardwork, finding things we've unpacked, grocery shopping, etc. etc. etc....

All in all, though, I'm glad to be at this point. I get to find out if I'm cut out for this career. Am I really as good as I like to believe? Will I make any difference at all? Will I be the low man on the totem pole right from the start?

Hopefully I will do well. I believe in myself. I like to think that the people who let me in and seem to respect my abilities know something about evaluating doctoral candidates. Next month may be the hardest thing I have ever done - at least academically - but I still feel ready. I am excited. I am here.

-- Robert

Thanks for the Memories

Six years ago today, in this town (Monticello), my wife and I stood before her father and God and became a family. I was the happiest man there that day, and I had only begun to know how fortunate I was to join this family. In the time since - through three reunions, various holidays, and other occasions - I have come to appreciate that I had married into the perfect family for me. My brothers-in-law are all much like the friends I had in high school, though they're mostly nicer. I love hanging out with any or all of them. My sisters-in-law are kind, generous, and gifted as well. My mother-in-law is wise, but good to share her experience in ways that are not at all judgmental. My father-in-law inspires me more every day. Truly, they are all a wonderful family.

When I married my wife, I knew I had found a diamond in the rough. She thinks so little of her many talents - herself in general really. I grow to love her more every day as I see how those talents effect the lives of our children and our friends, not to mention my own, for the better. She has a huge heart, and I am glad to know her. Getting the bonus of a wonderful set of in-laws is almost more than I can believe at times.

So on this, our sixth anniversary, I say thanks to all of my wife's family - especially my wife - for the wonderful memories. I look forward to many more.

-- Robert

Authentic Leadership

I spent some time this week delving into the research on the subject of leadership. The focus of two articles so far has been the idea of "authentic leadership". What does the term mean? Much like it sounds, it means a leader who is real about himself, his expectations, and his desire for his group. It also goes a step further, though, at least in this literature, to mean someone who is genuine AND positive - someone interested in the growth of his team members, interested in being open and honest about strengths and weaknesses, and interested in building an environment where everyone feels comfortable to be ethical, work for personal and organizational improvement, and who upholds the importance of accountability.

In short, authentic leadership extends very logically from the area of positive psychology and positive organizational behavior. I could see arguments to the contrary - someone can be genuine and still not be positive. Yes, but those people do not tend to remain leaders. The great point raised at the end of the article was the long-term nature of building an environment of positivity and trust. What can be built over decades can be destroyed in minutes. It is only in continuing to put forth an open, honest, positive image that a person can rise above and stay there.

I can think of quite a few examples of people in my life who have stood tall amidst the crowd as moral and ethical giants. Those men and women remain etched in my memory, and I find they tended to be very successful. Perhaps they did not have large material wealth, but they were happy in life and enjoyed their work. That defines success for me. I hope to bring these ideas to future students, hopefully by example as well as by my words. I know I owe a huge debt of gratitude for those who have been such examples to me.

-- Robert