Older Posts Revisited

My wife and I were laughing together about some of the crazy phone calls I've had over the years, and she told me I should write about them. I reminded her I already had, but she thought I had omitted a particular one. I realize why she might have thought I omitted it when I reread the original post. It was the last thing I said, but since the call said "I' M FINISHED!" really loud on a voice mail, I used it to segue into finishing the post. So, here is the original post:

Crazy Things Heard On The Phone

While I was back there digging, I thought I might also share some other gems of wittiness from my early days that some of my newer readers might not have gotten to see.

One Of Your Drivers Just Ran Over My Car

Tony Drove Off the Side of a Mountain

I Regret to Inform You...

So, enjoy. Feel free to comment here on any of these posts, or comment there. I'll try to look all four places. My apologies if some of these stories seem indelicate. Most of them happened between five and ten years ago, if that helps.

-- Robert

I Regret to Inform You...

The first job I ever had, my boss told me how not to answer a phone with this story:

"Don't explain why someone is unavailable. One time someone asked when the boss would be back and the secretary told them he had gone to the bathroom with the newspaper under his arm, so it might be a while. Some things, just don't need to be shared."

I learned a lot about phone etiquette on that job. If I ever let my boss's phone ring more than three times before answering it, I knew he was coming out the door of his office to have a talk with me. If I ever let a call drop by putting someone on hold too quickly, I would get a talk. There are certain things you do not do when you answer a phone. Now, fast forward to a year later at my trucking business, while I was still in college. We had a dispatcher working in another area who had passed away suddenly in the night. Out of courtesy to the family, the home office explained to his wife how she could forward his calls so she did not have to answer them. The dispatcher in the home office greeted the first several callers who asked for him by telling them:

"Cook's DEAD!" with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. After the first several such calls were overheard, the owner of the business asked him if he might be a little more delicate in breaking the news. After all, the people calling for him were mostly just making a standard check call as they would any morning to let their dispatcher know they were loaded and rolling. To suddenly be told the man was dead certainly must have come as a shock. So, the man changed his explanation.

"I regret to inform you, MR. COOK HAS MET HIS DEMISE!" his voice rose as he explained it each time. Most of the time the drivers had to ask what on Earth that meant. That elicited his initial explanation, "Cook's DEAD!"

What did I learn from this exchange? Well, I learned that sometimes it might make more sense to break things to another person slowly, especially when the information is completely unexpected, such as with a death or accident. Taking a serious or grave tone can prepare the other person to receive difficult news, and tact is a must. Mostly, I learned that some people are just not meant to answer phones for a living.

-- Robert