To anyone reading this post, my apologies if it offends your sensibilities. I came up with it and my wife and I played off the idea last week when we were in a very weird and wacky mood. Hopefully everyone can get a laugh out of it.
A couple is finishing a meal and heading for the door when the wife says to the husband, "Now don't forget to save it for the car," with a knowing look. The husband stops as he is leaving the tip to stare at her in confusion.
*change of scene*
"So, I swear my wife keeps telling me to save it for the car lately. And it's like she wants me to eat the foods that she used to hate for me to eat. What gives?" the husband asks his male friend.
"Oh, didnt you know about the special features with your new Saturn?" the friend asks. The husband shakes his head. "Oh, well, your car comes equipped with a flatulence filter that funnels to your engine. I'm surprised you haven't noticed how much you're saving at the pump."
"Well, I have been getting better gas mileage, but I really didn't know."
"Well, with GM's new patented technology, you'll really be getting more bang for your funk."
The friends share a laugh as the screen shifts to a shot of the car's bumper, showing the Saturn Uranus. "Come check out the Saturn that is powered by your anus."
Mercury could use the same name and the joke works just as well. It would all be a matter of who got to market faster. But honestly, if the carmakers could ever master THAT sort of alternative fueling system, things might really start to turn around. Every new car would come with a $100 gift certificate to Taco Bell or something. They would just have to figure out a way to make emissions smell pleasant. Perhaps putting Febreeze into the motor somewhere would help.
Forgive me for the potty humor. I just thought that with tomorrow's Hump Day Hmm being about Earth Day, the satire for an "alternative fuel" might be appreciated.