Friday, January 30, 2009

Though I See But Dimly Now...

Tonight, as I drove home a car filled with sleeping children (and thankfully for her sake, a sleeping wife as well), I found my mind wandering as it so often does. At first I was on a fairly open, and for a while even well-lit highway. As I turned on to the dark country road surrounded by trees on either side, I started to think of how much the small path ahead mimicked our view right now. We can only see a short way ahead. We do not know what obstacles might lay in our path. We really only know what tomorrow might bring, or perhaps a week or two. We have no idea where we will be in that dark abyss beyond the headlights.

Then my mind turned again. I thought of a time, almost five years ago, when I was asked to go on a drive in the dark of night. The call came about 10:00 PM from our branch president. We were being asked to report to Navarre Beach, FL, where Hurricane Ivan had come ashore a few days prior. I immediately asked, "Are we sure it's safe? Are we even allowed to go there? I was told a bridge was out in that direction."

He calmly replied, as I am sure he had several times before that night, "They would not ask us to go if we weren't allowed or if it were unsafe."

My faith grew a great deal on that trip, and on the subsequent hurricane relief trips we took as a branch. The Lord would not ask us to go if it were not safe - for in my mind, the men asking us to go were doing so by his direction. And so, as I drove on tonight, I smiled at the thought I have had during the past few months over and over, as acquaintances have asked me questions like "What will you do if you aren't accepted?" or "How can you sell your house without knowing where you're going to be?" Then there have been the questions from professors, trying to understand why I would pursue a doctorate at this stage in my career - not because they doubt I could or should, but simply to know more of my intentions. With so many I have answered, and with others I very much wanted to, "The Lord would not ask us to go if he didn't want us to get there."

So now, safely back at home, having seen the whole path home only a little at a time, I imagine the living room in my future home. I will have followed the path a little at a time, having put my faith and trust in my Lord that I would make it there and beyond. I know - I KNOW - I will be there soon. For now, I am content to see but a little way ahead, for it is in these moments when my faith grows.

-- Robert


C.Flower said...

Dark country roads ... at night ... with your kids asleep in the car ... and your wife.

Robert, this is great way to start a post! The scene had me hooked instantly.

Robert said...

Thanks, Heidi. It had me hooked, too, as it wrote itself in my head. Every once in a while, I manage to seem interesting.

C.Flower said...

It actually sounded like the beginning of a Stephen King novel. I almost started to bite my nails. I really thought something spooky was about to happen, and then I figured if THAT were the case, you would have titled the post something like: "SURVIVED SERIAL KILLER AND LIVED TO BLOG ABOUT IT."

Robert said...

When I turned on to that road, for whatever reason my first thoughts were about things that come out at night. I thought about deer crossing or about other such undesirable outcomes ruining a peaceful drive. So that might be why the post started that way - it felt dark and sinister at first.

Glad you liked it.